It all makes sense to me.I am in my A just for sex,no feelings or emotions.It has worked for me for many years now and i am very happy with it. You dont 'have' to feel emotions.Its not a rule! Enjoy the goodness of it ;)
You don't pine for him yet because you got your fix.
Wait for him not to call you for a week because he feels guilty and see how'd you feel about that. Speaking of emotions and feelings - you'd feel hurt, enraged, abandoned, used, confused, cheap and stupid. Then he'll call and you'd feel insanely happy and validated, and waiting and wanting more. And then he'd pull away again and the cycle will go on and on and on until you'll have enough to get off for good.
"Getting our fixes." Yes, that's exactly it. Thanks for posting this. I was starting to feel pretty alone here. I'm not into A's for romance or courtship. I already have an H, not in the market for another one. For me an A is about fun for me and the mystery and suspense. The way I've found not to get caught up in a particular AP (dangerous) is to have more than 1. I have 3 right now, one LD, the other two local. So there's always someone 'on deck,' lol - I really don't have time to sit around waiting and wondering.
i'm not a prude, trying not to judge. how can you justify sleeping with more then one AP. i already feel guilty and a bit dirty with one AP, but my affair has meaning because i love him deeply. it's not meaningless sex, but sex with love involved. still it does not make it right.
I don't see any difference between 1 A and more. It's all infidelity isn't it? And it's all 'wrong' by most people's definition. To each her own, honey. I need the rush and I get what I need. You need deeply in love, I wish that for you. I have been around A-land for a while and while I've heard talk of love, I've never seen it in action, really. Just hot air. The minute the going gets tough, out the door they go, back to Mommy and the chores and the big screen TV. So now I'm careful to keep my heart out of it. The APs don't know that, they have their own head movies going and that's fine with me as long as they give me what I want.
emotionally i can't have sex with more then one man, and like i said i have to love him. i have wondered how people can seperate being with more then one
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You dont 'have' to feel emotions.Its not a rule!
Enjoy the goodness of it ;)
You don't pine for him yet because you got your fix.
Wait for him not to call you for a week because he feels guilty and see how'd you feel about that. Speaking of emotions and feelings - you'd feel hurt, enraged, abandoned, used, confused, cheap and stupid. Then he'll call and you'd feel insanely happy and validated, and waiting and wanting more. And then he'd pull away again and the cycle will go on and on and on until you'll have enough to get off for good.
Welcome to affair land,
Gone
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
I was
"Getting our fixes." Yes, that's exactly it. Thanks for posting this. I was starting to feel pretty alone here. I'm not into A's for romance or courtship. I already have an H, not in the market for another one. For me an A is about fun for me and the mystery and suspense. The way I've found not to get caught up in a particular AP (dangerous) is to have more than 1. I have 3 right now, one LD, the other two local. So there's always someone 'on deck,' lol - I really don't have time to sit around waiting and wondering.
-jana
MoonUnit
MoonUnit
I don't see any difference between 1 A and more. It's all infidelity isn't it? And it's all 'wrong' by most people's definition. To each her own, honey. I need the rush and I get what I need. You need deeply in love, I wish that for you. I have been around A-land for a while and while I've heard talk of love, I've never seen it in action, really. Just hot air. The minute the going gets tough, out the door they go, back to Mommy and the chores and the big screen TV. So now I'm careful to keep my heart out of it. The APs don't know that, they have their own head movies going and that's fine with me as long as they give me what I want.
Just my .02
-jana
MoonUnit
>>The minute the going gets tough, out the door they go, back to Mommy and the chores and the big screen TV. - You made me laugh. So true.
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