Sex with no feelings involved?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2009
Sex with no feelings involved?
20
Fri, 11-27-2009 - 11:39am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 12:06pm

My AP don't know about each other. AP wants to think he's all I need or want, it's an ego thing for him and I'm happy to give him everything he wants. H is an everyday boy so yes, I have had sex with him and an AP on the same day. Not more than 1 AP though. Let me ask you, are you M? If so how do you manage sex with H and AP? Just wondering. Everybody's different and like I said to each her own.

--jana

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 2:27pm

Jana,


That's great that you manage to not get involved.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 4:14pm
yes i am married. i've been with my AP pretty long term.

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 7:20am

Lost,

Yes I am M. I had an AP years ago who I lost my heart to - perfect man for me or so I thought - we got caught in the act. Long story short my H (#1) dumped me and AP, who always said we'd be together some day, ran crybaby back to his W, blamed me for everything, threw me right off the cliff. Lesson learned. I still get the romantic lines from AP and promises etc, and I play along, but I know better. They say and do whatever it takes to keep me in bed with them but what they don't understand, because they are so self absorbed, is I'm doing the same thing. Not saying it's the right mode for everyone. Lot of girls on here seem to use A's as a means to shop for new H's but I've got an H and I do not plan to leave.

Just my .02

-jana

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:04am
i can u, i will never have another affair. i don't like all the lies and deciet, and losing my integrity.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2009
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:30am
I think I'm fooling myself. I haven't talked to him since Saturday and now I feel like my heart might explode in my chest. I can't do this. He doesn't have feelings for me at all. I have to stop this NOW!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 2:11am

Thanks Jana for explaining it.


I think I'm following the same path you've taken.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2009
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 3:57pm
I'm still seeing him and I don't know how I feel. Part of me feels like I NEED to end it and the other part feels like I can't. I just know I'm going to get hurt in all this. If I end it now I'll be sad b/c there won't be anymore sex, but if I don't end it I'm going to get hurt. I just know it. He wants me for sex and nothing more and I can't be that way forever. It's not in me. I'm already feeling some jealousy about certain things going on in the situation. I wonder if I end it I'll feel good about it because then I will have been the one to let him go and not the other way around. If I get too attached and he ends it, I'll be really sad. I'm already sad at the thought of ending it all with him. I'm so confused.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 11:51pm

Confused,

The longer you wait, the harder it will be. I cannot end mine. We have been at it for almost 3 years and are getting closer, but I believe it's just friendship. Get out now and hurt a little, or later, and hurt a lot more. I wish you the best. It's hard no matter what.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 10:48am
Confused, I feel your pain. Am going through what sounds like the exact same emotions. I want to end it, but can't...yet. It's like I need to hear from him one more time. We need to have sex one more time. I need to know he's thinking of me and wanting me. I am fooling myself because I know it's sex for him (he's M and so am I). We've only been together twice, this time around. Long story, but he was my lover 20 years ago and we fatefully ran into each other again recently. I could--and probably already am--get emotionally involved again. I am a mess, too. Hang in there honey. You are not alone.

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