Sex w/ H & MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2002
Sex w/ H & MM
16
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:34am
If you end up having sex with MM and H (just because you don't want to give H reasons to suspect about A) and get pregnant, how can you tell who's the father of the baby? I'm very curious about that situation...let me know what you all think.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 11:11am
I was in your position once upon a time. Unless you choose not to have the baby, or adoption, I don't think there is a way to tell......until after the baby is born and get a paternity test.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2002
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 11:17am
Actually, i'm not in that position, there's only a small possibility in the future that it could happen, i don't know, i have not had sex with MM yet, but i just wanted to know if anyone knew if there was a way to find out if the baby was from one or the other...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 11:29am
Well, I was in this position...last month. But luckily AF came, and I ended up not being pregnant. My wise friend (who knows her cycles) taught me that I really need to learn my body better. I need to know when I'm ovulating, and pay attention to those days. If you keep track with "who" you slept with in your ovulating days, then it will be easier to tell. Or if you do not want a baby, then do not have sex during those days. If you keep track of "what day" you slept with "what guy" then you should be able to know. Just don't sleep with them both within a few days of eachother. I guess paternity test is the only true way though. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 12:40pm
The way I'd know is by temperature charting... Using condoms (which by the way, aren't 100%!)... Hard to say. I will say that I have somewhat BTDT... I'll confess...

I chart my fertile time... And OM and I had been intimate who knows how many times... Anyways, ovulation passed and H and I had unprotected sex. I went for an ultrasound, and they found something that looked like a very very very early pregnancy.. A week later, (Last week) I had another ultrasound. They say it's too early to tell what it is.. Either it's a sac of fluid or a pregnancy.. I have health problems though and chances of carrying a baby is slim to none... But I do know that it would be OM's. Because H and I had sex after ovulation.. I'll tell ya... Condoms are not 100%. But as I said, it's still not for sure what it's my uterus... But the whole situation made me think. And my gosh... Was I ever freaked out.

Anyhow, that's how I'd be able to tell.. Be careful.. My whole situation made me crazy for a week or so... I hope you aren't in this situation! ~passion

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 5:03pm
I was in this exact situation a few months ago and it was a bit scary. I had sex with both MM and H many times within that cycle, and then found out I was pregnant. I was planning on spending my child's life with him/her thinking that H was their father, breaking up with MM, never telling MM about the possibility of his paternity, and hoping and praying that a situation never came up where a kidney was needed or something. I lost the child due to miscarriage, which I believe in many ways was a blessing in disguise. Next time I get pregnant I want to make sure its with H.

But as far as I know there is no way to tell until after the birth of the child, if you ever want to know for sure at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:01pm
Has anyone considered the use of birth control pills or shots? Aren't they nearly 100%? I'm not on them, since I've had a ligation, but it seems to me that they are the obvious choice except where not possible for medical reasons. Make no mistake, I don't like them, I don't like what they do to me, but before I was married, I used them because, again, they were the logical choice.

This is the second or third post I've seen during my time here addressing the issue of pregnancy, or possible pregnancy, and no one seems to mention the pill. Why is that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:13pm
Why is no one on this thread using condoms???
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:43pm
Well, if it wasn't for my health problems, I would be able to carry. I would have. I lost too many babies in a years time. But I would have had to tell H that it wasn't his. My husband is caucasian. My OM is not. So, it would have been obvious from the minute the baby was born. For me, I can't/couldn't have aborted... I would have seen the baby as a miracle. Because after 4 miscarriages... You know.... I would have endured whatever my H dealt me for the pregnancy to last. I just hope no one else goes through this situation! And of coruse, this all isn't done and over with... I'm still needing an ultarsound to see where things are at this point... To tell me if it's a pregnancy or just a sac of fluid... ~passion
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:46pm
Hi:) Actually, the pill makes me bleed non stop. I start the pill and the bleeding doesn't stop at all. My reasons are medical. I use the charting method with my H and use condoms with OM. It's the only way for me! That's what I'm doing! ~passion
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:47pm
I am with OM. Charting with H. ~passion

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