Sex Without Love Forever?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Sex Without Love Forever?
28
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 10:16pm
I'm wondering if it's possible for a man to be with a woman over a long period of time and still have no feelings for her other than physical attraction. I know men don't equate sex with love like most women (sorry about the seemingly stereotype, but I think most would agree), but do you think one can have intimate relations with another and not eventually fall?

Just curious as to your thoughts on this.

My MM won't share his feelings. I don't know if it's out of fear, or he doesn't feel anything at all, or for the mere fact that doing so just makes it worse in the long run. My intuition tells me he has feelings for me by the way he looks at me, holds me, and can't stand to be away from me, but today I'm questionning where we stand on an emotional level.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 2:52pm
I'm with you Gurl !! I want both sex and love, not one or the other. I just can't accept that the person I love I can't have sex with, that's not what I bargained for. And the person I have sex with, I'm not supposed to love.

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 3:12pm
Again, let me state that I never said I would want to have one or the other. I just said that of the two, love is the more important to me.

That said, I think we all know we have loved people we couldn't have sex with and had sex with people we didn't love. In an ideal world, you find that person that you not only have those two things with, but all the other important facets of a relationship like communication and honesty and shared interests. That's what we're all seeking and what I feel we all deserve. I believe I have found it but I'm going to proceed with caution because I, like everyone here, have been burned before. But I have faith in myself and in this woman. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 4:00pm
I have to put in my two cents here (can't believe I haven't already - LOL)...

Of love and sex, and if FORCED to choose, I would have to go with love, because one can live without sex, but they would be miserable living without love.

Now, with that said, sex without love can be fun, but sex with love is a completely orgasmic (no pun intended) experience. That is my own personal experience, that is. I'm only speaking for myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 4:17pm
Love or sex? This is a good one..kinda like, what's it better to be, cute or sexy? haha. I think that we all think we could give up sex for love, but, don't you think eventually...we'd be looking for the sex in a different place than we have the love..??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 4:51pm
True, true.....I guess that's why I am where I am now with my MM - LOL! But with him, I get the best of both worlds....
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 5:00pm

"Actions speak louder than words"

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 5:51pm
Interesting subject...

My relationship with my MM is kind of a long distance one...he's about 2 1/2 hours away...

We don't get anywhere near as much time together as I'd like, between his w and the company he owns...

This was the week he travels to his plants, and usually he will spend his last night here with me...

Unfortunately, due to business constraints, he had to be back at his main office for a conference call with his best customer...

So where am I going with this? LOL...

We talked last night, and he said it looked like he'd at least be able to stop if I wanted to see him...of course I said yes...

This thread though, made me think...because I knew damn well if he did show up we'd be nekky shortly after his walking in the door...

He called and said sorry sweety, I'll only have an hour, you still want me?

Since he and I have so little time together, I said yes...

We talked about it later, and he said he really felt bad...

But I explained that when he and I have our mind-blowing sex, that it's not just sex...between us it's making love...and the kissing...and the hugging...and the sharing...

Could I live without sex? Yes...(as long as I have B.O.B. and his little brother JR...LOL)

COuld I live with never making love again? No...

~Laurie~




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 2:42am
Wow! I like the direction this post has taken. I don't know that I'd prefer one over the other, but do agree that if I had love without sex, I'd find myself in a sexual A. And obviously, if I have sex without love, I'd find myself questionning it on a message board somewhere...

Interesting topic!

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