SG coming to visit and I'm confused...
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| Tue, 10-21-2003 - 2:21am |
I have come to terms with the fact that our A is over. Why, I am not sure as I have not talked to him these past two weeks. For the past two months, while our contact has diminished, I have faced the fact that it was coming to an end anyway. The past four days it has been not quite so hard, in fact today went by without me fretting over the fact I have not talked to him. In fact it has been a week since I cried about the situation.
Ok here is the point of this posting. I have known SG for 4 yrs. We had a "thing" 3 1/2 yrs ago. Strictly sex, no emotional connection whatsoever. We have been in contact over the years. He is in the military and went to the Gulf for seven months, he returned to the states a few months ago and calls me often. He wants to fly me out to visit him. I put it off as I was involved with MM. I have not had sex with anyone other than MM - personal choice to do so. I have not dated as I am in love with MM. SG called tonight to see when I was finally going to go out to see him. I gave him a date - I know I have to move on with my life. Well he doesn't want to wait that long and is going to come out here to see me in two weeks. I was looking forward to hooking up with him.
All of a sudden, I started crying...I was just watching TV and all of a sudden I started crying. I hate feeling like this. I am a very strong, independent woman. I have so many positive things in my life. I have wonderful, healthy, beautiful children, a thriving business and wonderful supportive friends. I am very active with my children's activities, etc. I rarely cry - except when it comes to my kids then I cry at the drop of a hat. I have never been the type to 1. get involved with someone that is not available, 2. be one to pursue an impossible relationship. Up until now, I have been the one to end relationships not the guy.
This is the second time in my life that I have been in love with someone. I loved my XH at one time but not like this. My XH was "close enough" to real love, but that was a disaster waiting to happen. The first time was a very long time ago - and I messed that up. (another therapy session).
I know what to expect from SG, no strings just sex. I am ok with that, but I am struggling with the sadness and grief of the A. It makes it hard to look forward to the upcoming weekend with SG....
Just needed to vent...thank you my friends for being here.
saatty

oh saatty... I wish that I could be there to put my arms around you and give you a great big hug... but my cyber ones will have to do.
I can't offer you advice on the broken heart... but I feel you are a strong woman and you will get through and tears never hurt anyone... so let them flow and do the greiving for what you know you have lost... it's the only way to get on the road to recovery.
And while it may be hard... set your sites on that date... and have the best time ever.
Thinking of you girl... sending you lots of hugs...
and do keep us up with everything
luv and hugs
Community Leader My Affair Support
email me at sweetc_@hotmail.com
"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly"
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
saatty
Big Hugs,
ittybrat
I know it would be easier if I did have some type of closure.
In the mean time, I will be going out to see SG in three weeks, and some of my friends are working on setting me up(ugh, blind dates - never been on one and not sure what to expect). I'm fortunate that there is more than enought to keep me busy, so for the most part I don't think about (obsess) about MM, but there are those moments that sneak up on me.
Thanks again everyone for your support. I know I should probably go ETA board, but I feel much more comfortable here.
saatty