She had his baby this morning

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
She had his baby this morning
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Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:43am
I guess that says it all...I know I havent been around for MONTHS but I really need you guys today...ugh! In September I found out she was PG and she had the baby this morning...he called me as soon as he left the hospital to go let the dog out. Little girl, one that melted her Daddy's heart.

I am so overflowing with emotion right now. I feel totally numb. Im happy for him and I can hear the excitement in his voice. He said it was the most incredible thing he's ever witnessed and that his g/f did very well.

I think the hardest thing about an EMA is loving someone and watching them live a life with someone else. The routine things in our daily lives are tough but when something so significant happens and you're not a part of it, it stings really bad! I know he called me because he wants me to know where he is, what he's up to and I know it's important to him that he share his excitement with me. As much as I want to share it with him to, it still hurts. I was very happy when he called me right away, 4 hours after she was born, but when that call ended and I thought deeper about it, my heart started to ache.

Just needed to vent

Liberal

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:50am
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Edited 4/24/2004 4:07 pm ET ET by julietsfate
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:53am
I just wanted to give you a hug....(((((HUGS))))

That must be really hard. Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 12:01pm
hey liberal, good to hear from you honey, but sorry for the substance of your post. yes it does hurt when you think about not living the life you want with someone you love. one positive thing was that OM felt so close to you that he wanted to share his happy news. it is an amazing experience to watch your child being born, truly life-changing. but OM really wanted to share at least that bit of the experience with you. i think that's soooo sweet, even if after the fact, you are hurting from it.

try to keep the positive part of it and just feel close to him because he trusts you and loves you enough to keep you directly in the loop, instead of shutting you out of it.

hugs lib and keep your chin up honey.

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 12:15pm
Thanks ladies...next to the day I got the news she was pg this is my hardest day in regards to my EMA...I knew you all would open my eyes and remind me of the positives...I think it's great that I got a call right away and I felt warm that I could hear him smiling ear to ear over the phone when he called. He wasnt very happy about this pregnancy and it's taken him a long time to accept it so hearing him talk about his new little angle made me smile. He's a wonderful Dad and will be just as wonderful for this little one to!

Things like this don't make me questions his love for me it just makes me question why we have put ourselves in this situation in the first place...I know the answer to that as well though ... because it's worth it!

OM and I live a wonderful part-time life together...we aren't the kind of couple that would be successful in a full-time relationship. Therefore, we are spending our lives where it works best. We both love our partners and we both love each other and we just choose to stay where it makes the most sense, but try telling your heart that "it just makes the most sense" on a day like today...

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 1:21pm
see, i knew you'd get it after the whining part was over!! kidding honey....

you have the best of both worlds -- savor it!!

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 1:28pm
Any reason to whine works for me! LOL

I do know I have the best of both worlds...that's why this is all worth it!

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 1:33pm
SCORE -- 2 POINTS LIBERAL!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 1:55pm
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Edited 4/24/2004 4:08 pm ET ET by julietsfate
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 1:57pm
Hi Shagnhurman,

I read your post and finally had to give my input. It was so close to home. MM had his second baby with W a liitle more than a month ago. I found out about the pregnancy during the beginning when I thought we were becoming only friends. He made me feel so good that I kept pushing my negative feelings deep down - about this wrong relationship - where I thought it might be going. He never spoke much about the pregnancy , only little pieces of conversations with other co-workers. I would happen to hear these little things and I had to act as if it did not affect me.

ok bottom line , they had the baby , he did not call me and I would not expect him to at that time, but after I read your post , I wondered if he loves me like he says , why not share the news ? Although I prayed he never wanted to talk to me about it , because it was Not something I wanted to discuss with him one on one .

I thought after he had this baby it would be over , but it has not been . It continues to grow stronger which scares me . I know this is not right . We have talked about it . But we feel we are in similar situations as far as not being happy in our marriages. Bottom line.... It hurts so much when he has a baby with his wife . I imagined how he probably held her hand and kissed her forehead and how he would be TOTALLY there FOR HER. Then I thought about there sex, of course it was just as passionate if not more than what we have , she shares his life , he has to love her , and it kills me , but yet I must love humiliation , cause more than ever I have realized I love this man. It still drives me crazy . In fact if another preganacy occurs in the near future I have promised myself I would end it , but then reality hits and if I havent left yet , how am I ever going to leave this . I am just too weak !!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 4:48pm
Rollercoaster, honey... they just got her cheered up! I'm not sure the visual you painted is helpful. Really, though, keep in mind that he still wants to be with you. And on the positive side of that picture, you won't share tired nights up with a sick baby, fights over who has to take them to ballet or karate or stay home from work because they are running a fever, bill arguments, discipline issues, etc., etc. So with the good comes the bad. It's all part of life and part of the bargain we've made with ourselves to have all the joy of this extra relationship. It's both blessing and curse certainly.

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