She had his baby this morning
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| Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:43am |
I am so overflowing with emotion right now. I feel totally numb. Im happy for him and I can hear the excitement in his voice. He said it was the most incredible thing he's ever witnessed and that his g/f did very well.
I think the hardest thing about an EMA is loving someone and watching them live a life with someone else. The routine things in our daily lives are tough but when something so significant happens and you're not a part of it, it stings really bad! I know he called me because he wants me to know where he is, what he's up to and I know it's important to him that he share his excitement with me. As much as I want to share it with him to, it still hurts. I was very happy when he called me right away, 4 hours after she was born, but when that call ended and I thought deeper about it, my heart started to ache.
Just needed to vent
Liberal

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Edited 4/24/2004 4:07 pm ET ET by julietsfate
That must be really hard. Hang in there.
try to keep the positive part of it and just feel close to him because he trusts you and loves you enough to keep you directly in the loop, instead of shutting you out of it.
hugs lib and keep your chin up honey.
life
Things like this don't make me questions his love for me it just makes me question why we have put ourselves in this situation in the first place...I know the answer to that as well though ... because it's worth it!
OM and I live a wonderful part-time life together...we aren't the kind of couple that would be successful in a full-time relationship. Therefore, we are spending our lives where it works best. We both love our partners and we both love each other and we just choose to stay where it makes the most sense, but try telling your heart that "it just makes the most sense" on a day like today...
Liberal
you have the best of both worlds -- savor it!!
life
I do know I have the best of both worlds...that's why this is all worth it!
Liberal
Edited 4/24/2004 4:08 pm ET ET by julietsfate
I read your post and finally had to give my input. It was so close to home. MM had his second baby with W a liitle more than a month ago. I found out about the pregnancy during the beginning when I thought we were becoming only friends. He made me feel so good that I kept pushing my negative feelings deep down - about this wrong relationship - where I thought it might be going. He never spoke much about the pregnancy , only little pieces of conversations with other co-workers. I would happen to hear these little things and I had to act as if it did not affect me.
ok bottom line , they had the baby , he did not call me and I would not expect him to at that time, but after I read your post , I wondered if he loves me like he says , why not share the news ? Although I prayed he never wanted to talk to me about it , because it was Not something I wanted to discuss with him one on one .
I thought after he had this baby it would be over , but it has not been . It continues to grow stronger which scares me . I know this is not right . We have talked about it . But we feel we are in similar situations as far as not being happy in our marriages. Bottom line.... It hurts so much when he has a baby with his wife . I imagined how he probably held her hand and kissed her forehead and how he would be TOTALLY there FOR HER. Then I thought about there sex, of course it was just as passionate if not more than what we have , she shares his life , he has to love her , and it kills me , but yet I must love humiliation , cause more than ever I have realized I love this man. It still drives me crazy . In fact if another preganacy occurs in the near future I have promised myself I would end it , but then reality hits and if I havent left yet , how am I ever going to leave this . I am just too weak !!!
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