She had his baby this morning

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
She had his baby this morning
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Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:43am
I guess that says it all...I know I havent been around for MONTHS but I really need you guys today...ugh! In September I found out she was PG and she had the baby this morning...he called me as soon as he left the hospital to go let the dog out. Little girl, one that melted her Daddy's heart.

I am so overflowing with emotion right now. I feel totally numb. Im happy for him and I can hear the excitement in his voice. He said it was the most incredible thing he's ever witnessed and that his g/f did very well.

I think the hardest thing about an EMA is loving someone and watching them live a life with someone else. The routine things in our daily lives are tough but when something so significant happens and you're not a part of it, it stings really bad! I know he called me because he wants me to know where he is, what he's up to and I know it's important to him that he share his excitement with me. As much as I want to share it with him to, it still hurts. I was very happy when he called me right away, 4 hours after she was born, but when that call ended and I thought deeper about it, my heart started to ache.

Just needed to vent

Liberal

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 6:23pm
Thanks Saturday Sister-

I did not mean to bring her down - just sharing my feelings and what my experience has been . Thank You for helping me remember the DOWN side to a full blown relationship with this man . Maybe that is why I can't let go , I live in a dream world with him , but as good as this is sometimes , it hurts just as much. RCD
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 9:07am
Rollercoaster didnt bring me down, she just let me know Im not alone but thanks for having my back there girl! LOL but it's all good...really...

When today came and I opened my eyes yesterday felt like a bad dream but it's still reality just easier to swallow this morning. Everyday will get easier and with time it will just become the norm just as the news of the pregnancy did. My OM loves me and none of this makes me questions that. The reality though is that we have this perfect little fantasy relationship that is free of all of the hectic things that were listed to remind us all of why these EMS seem so pleasant in comparison to where we are full-time. Reality is that your part time love is protected and safe guarded from all of the daily routine obstacles such as bills, kids, scheduling conflicts etc..

My whole thing in a nut shell with this is that im jealous and that's not a feeling Im accustom to feeling. I love this man and watching him share one of the most precious experiences in life with someone other than me is heart wrenching to say the least. I know his G/F appreciates him and I know he appreciates her for bringing his baby girl into this world...matter of fact Im hoping this entire situation makes him respect her more than he does now. I want only the best for him but I need to remember that Im not able to give him more than I do now so with that said I have to play second fiddle to someone who is willing to...such as life...

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 2:49pm
I can relate like you wouldn't believe. My MM's wife had a baby girl, their first child, just 8 weeks ago. Up until January, I had no idea she was even pregnant. I got that sprung on me when someone in his office mentioned it on a conference call I happened to be on. He didn't mention it to me because he was afraid I'd think badly of him. Like I ever could, but still, it was unsettling.

His daughter also arrived less than one month after we got hit with a D-Day. His wife found some emails, and the stress even sent her into premature labor. She was on bedrest for the rest of her pregnancy, and I think that made MM feel extra guilty. He started withdrawing a little (she made him tell me it was "over", but of course, we still email and call each other all the time, we just haven't had physical contact). Once the baby arrived, she became his whole world. Worse, he's now using the word "family" all the time and told me he has newfound respect for his wife, after seeing what a terrific mother she is. So where does that leave me? I want to ask him, but I'm afraid of the answer.

He's living a beautiful life right now, and I'm on the outside looking in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 3:09pm
I hope my OM finds some new found respect for his G/F he really should have more respect for her than he does...afterall she puts up with his crap - all the stuff Im glad I dont have to put up with...he can dish it! Maybe my OM will withdraw some also...worse things could happen I suppose...Im guessing a marriage will be in the future also...that I will never understand but again, I have to...I wouldnt deny him that kind of commitment and security I have in my everyday life...just the idea of how he could stand before everyone he knows and say vows is beyond me but that's his problem...I said them and didnt honor them either I suppose...and the story goes on...LOL

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 3:10pm
I soooooo know what you're going through, I just went through it myself in February. I almost cried when I read your post. It can be so hard sometimes! Why are we doing this to ourselves....hopefully some day it'll be worth it.

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