She had his baby this morning
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:43am |
I am so overflowing with emotion right now. I feel totally numb. Im happy for him and I can hear the excitement in his voice. He said it was the most incredible thing he's ever witnessed and that his g/f did very well.
I think the hardest thing about an EMA is loving someone and watching them live a life with someone else. The routine things in our daily lives are tough but when something so significant happens and you're not a part of it, it stings really bad! I know he called me because he wants me to know where he is, what he's up to and I know it's important to him that he share his excitement with me. As much as I want to share it with him to, it still hurts. I was very happy when he called me right away, 4 hours after she was born, but when that call ended and I thought deeper about it, my heart started to ache.
Just needed to vent
Liberal

Pages
I did not mean to bring her down - just sharing my feelings and what my experience has been . Thank You for helping me remember the DOWN side to a full blown relationship with this man . Maybe that is why I can't let go , I live in a dream world with him , but as good as this is sometimes , it hurts just as much. RCD
When today came and I opened my eyes yesterday felt like a bad dream but it's still reality just easier to swallow this morning. Everyday will get easier and with time it will just become the norm just as the news of the pregnancy did. My OM loves me and none of this makes me questions that. The reality though is that we have this perfect little fantasy relationship that is free of all of the hectic things that were listed to remind us all of why these EMS seem so pleasant in comparison to where we are full-time. Reality is that your part time love is protected and safe guarded from all of the daily routine obstacles such as bills, kids, scheduling conflicts etc..
My whole thing in a nut shell with this is that im jealous and that's not a feeling Im accustom to feeling. I love this man and watching him share one of the most precious experiences in life with someone other than me is heart wrenching to say the least. I know his G/F appreciates him and I know he appreciates her for bringing his baby girl into this world...matter of fact Im hoping this entire situation makes him respect her more than he does now. I want only the best for him but I need to remember that Im not able to give him more than I do now so with that said I have to play second fiddle to someone who is willing to...such as life...
Liberal
His daughter also arrived less than one month after we got hit with a D-Day. His wife found some emails, and the stress even sent her into premature labor. She was on bedrest for the rest of her pregnancy, and I think that made MM feel extra guilty. He started withdrawing a little (she made him tell me it was "over", but of course, we still email and call each other all the time, we just haven't had physical contact). Once the baby arrived, she became his whole world. Worse, he's now using the word "family" all the time and told me he has newfound respect for his wife, after seeing what a terrific mother she is. So where does that leave me? I want to ask him, but I'm afraid of the answer.
He's living a beautiful life right now, and I'm on the outside looking in.
Liberal
Pages