Is she interested?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
Is she interested?
4
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 2:17am
I am new to this message board. I hope somebody can offer me some insight. I am a 34 year old married man who has fallen for a 45 year old woman at work. We are both married with kids.

It started out about 8 months ago..we work on the same team. We just seemed to hit it off..I love talking and sharing..same as her. My wife doesn't like to visit..her hubby is typical workaholic male. I know she loves her family as do I...but..I just can't tell if she is interested in me..more than friends that is.

We have done coffee..gone to lunches..shared intimate details about our personal lives. I told her she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever known...she told me I make her blush. She talks of the future.."next summer I will take you to sushi..."..etc. "We need to keep doing coffee..it's so good to finally have somebody to talk with.

Part of me figures..what would a 45 year old woman want with a 34 year old guy? Her kids are in college..mine are still in preschool. It's just so odd. Some days she is very friendly, talkative..and others she is almost distant. I don't want to make a move. The most we have ever done physically is a friendly hug..both side and frontal. She tells me things such as, "I always wear a thong with jeans"....or."I initiated 3 times last week.."

Perhaps she just likes the attention I give her..it almost feels like a game. I don't believe she has ever cheated...nor have I. What am I to do? We are both teachers and are going on a school trip together for about a week next month. Perhaps she will seduce me. I am so bad..but my heart just loves the attention she gives me.

Am I crazy? Perhaps she gets excited at my attention..then worries about where it will lead? How do I know if she really wants me..?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 7:58am
What do you mean...why wouldn't a 45 year old woman like a 34 year old male? I think it's very clear that she is flirting with you, but you need to figure out if it's just flirting for a thrill (to get some attention from a younger man) or if is flirting to get your attention to even get things started. You didn't mention the R you have with your W or the R she has with her H. Are things bad or good at home? Why are you interested in her? Take things slowly and think things through. I can tell you from personal experience, no matter what path you choose, it won't be easy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 9:01am
From your post it sounds like you have your mind and heart set on having an affair with this woman if you find out for sure that she is interested. She is clearly not indifferent toward you but to what extent - you will never know unless you ask.

I have to warn you though just like everybody else here warned me at one time - an affair is not an easy road to travel. Even though there will be moments that will make you blissfully happy there will be just as many if not more moments of pain and anguish. I suggest you think long and hard before starting anything with this woman if you are not fully prepared to handle it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 1:46pm
I think she is definatley interested. I think that if she is telling you thong secrets she wants to induce curiousity into your brain. Drop subtle hints that show you intersted but don't put your emotions to far out on the table. If she is trying to spark something in you she will more then likely feed off of what you do. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 2:38pm
Yes, I think she is interested. My EXMM is 11 yrs younger than me.

Ours started off as an office friendship. When the opportunity was

there he told me he had been attracted to me since he met me.

I couldn't believe it, we are both happily married, but as he later said

maybe something is missing in our marraiges. Our affair lasted 5 mths, has been over for 2 mnths, but lateley I have seen the spark back in his eyes.

I asked him today if it was just me, or do I see something in his eyes, he said yes!!!!

Who knows, maybe we will start up again.

But Yes, I think she is interested!!!!!