She knows now what

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
She knows now what
5
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 4:18pm

Hi everyone. It has been a while since I have been on here and I had to add a 2 to my fist name since I couldn't remember my pass word and I don't have that email anymore. So for those of you that don't know or don't remember.


I have been in an affair with a man for almost 2 years and we are both M. We get to meet on business trips and several times through out the year. I am not in a happy marriage but not able to leave at this time because of several reasons. He is married to an older woman and can't leave for reasons of him own. We have both been M to OP for over 20 years each. I have kids with H and some are still in school. She has kids that are grown with K of their own. I am 40 and my H is 47. AP is Turing 50 next month and APW is 63. When we started it was just for fun kind of thing but as time passed we feel very much in love. We don't want to hurt the OP we are with but hoped that one day we would be able to be together but for now we would take what we could get and be happy with it.


She found out this weekend!! We are not sure how but she did. We have always been very careful and deleted everything as we went. But some how she read an email from me to him about a meeting that we where both going to be at back in July we are guessing because that was the last time that we meet when we where at a meeting. She walked in on him texting me of the hotel that we where going to meet at in coming week but she didn't see the text. She confronted him about who I was and yes she knows my name, asked him if he was sleeping with me and then wouldn't let him answer since I singed

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 7:15pm
Give him a break and lie low. I wouldn't contact him at all, nor would I respond to him trying to contact me. he has to figure out what he's going to do, and so do you. What would you do if your H found out? What if his W calls your H and tells him everything she knows? It does happen a lot. Each of you needs to decide if you can continue in the A, and what you are willing to risk if you do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 11:09pm

Hi Show - I'm gonna go with your SIL and the other poster and say just let him be for now.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 11:38pm

Thanks cl-tgrbabe, I know that you and everyone else is right. That I need to give him the space that he needs right now to figure things out even if he doesn't want me too. I know that he needs it and that he needs to decide what he really wants to do about all of this. It is so hard to think that I could lose him over this even though I have always known that if she found out that it would be over because he isn't in a position to leave her.


I know that I do love him enough to let him go even knowing how much pain and hurt it would cause me. I will get over it in time but I will never forget him or what we shared.


Thanks for the advice. I am going to try really hard to sit back and follow his lead and wait for him to call or contact me. I have plenty of work that will keep me busy while the kids are at school and when they get home there is always something going on and I will be busy from that. It is just really hard to concentrate worrying about him and wondering if I will ever hear to see him again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2008
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 2:35am

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2007
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 7:59am

i think laying low is the best option for a bit! Sorry you have been through this Discovery!


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