Shoot! I'm getting emotionally involved.
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Shoot! I'm getting emotionally involved.
| Fri, 01-02-2004 - 9:19pm |
And worse --> I don't think he is. This A was to be a "little fun", and I'm really finding myself quite enamored w/ my MM. I'm married, too, and he knows my marriage is not in good shape, and he claims to be quite content at home.
It's just frustrating. Has this happened to any of you? Is it more of a "girl" thing to get emotionally attached, whereas men can just enjoy the perks of the A and not get feelings involved?
Now, I just need to keep my trap shut and probably step back a bit. For example, what was going to be a lovely evening next week has just been messed up by my dh's schedule, and I was absolutely deflated to learn we couldn't hook up that night. He was very mellow about it. MEN!!
I guess, I'm feeling like my guy is just such a tough read when it comes to where he stands in this whole relationship...and I really don't want to bring up the discussion. (Yet I'm dying to know!!) **sigh**
Thanks for reading, yall!
Blushing

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Yes It seems that woman get the emotions involved quick and deep,I think because we tend to associate sex and intamacy at some level of are being(for want of a better word).
Most men seem to think of the sex they get on the side as just that "SEX" and tend to be slower to get emotinaly involved and it seems not as deeply if at all(There are of course exceptions to this statment).
The old saying THAT MEN GIVE EFFECTION TO GET SEX AND WOMEN GIVE SEX TO GET AFFECTION is true if anyone likes it or not, it is part of the basic make up of men and women, it is not a matter of blame just the way we are as a spieces.
I suggest bareing that in mind when dealing with that MM (also bare in mine the old rule that you only can believe 10% of what here less if it is comeing from a MAN).
Free
Blushing
I am in a similar situation. We are both in good marriages, but are currently at a stressful point in our lives (in grad school). It began innocently enough, just talking, and I promised myself I wouldn't let myself become emotionally involved. My rationale was that many women do get emotionally involved and I didn't want to get hurt. It was only supposed to be a physical relationship. Now I find myself thinking about him all the time. Neither of us has any intention of leaving our marriages, yet I can't get him out of my head. I'm afraid to ask him if he thinks about me at any point in time, because I fear the answer. What makes it worse is that I haven't seen him or talked to him because of the holidays.
I don't know if it's that he doesn't want to reveal his feelings to me or if he really doesn't have any emotional involvement at all.
Good luck.
Pug
I find myself constantly wondering how it is he can abstain from calling, TM'ing, IM'ing when I almost cannot. He says it's not as easy for him to get away as it is for me. That he would raise red flags if he started to do things differently. When I am able to back off a bit he of course does respond to that. But I hate that game. I just want it all and I want it now and I want us to seize the day. I feel like we're on borrowed time.
I too am definitely emotionally involved...darnit!
What makes it worse is that I haven't seen him or talked to him because of the holidays either. His wife, the teacher, has been at home with him for two weeks. Our only contact in the last two weeks has been 4-5 e-mails.
I think women do get more emotionally attached. You may not find out where he stands in this whole relationship anytime soon. As I always tell myself... "Be patient and enjoy your relationship."
My MM has always been the same way, never seeming quite as attached as me.
At least, much better at keeping it in check than me.
Yes, I believe women get to that level quicker than men do, it is something we all have to live with, unfortunately.
A's are so full of ups and downs, but just ride the swells, and keep your chin up during the lulls.
:) mfl8
I, too, know my MM's W, actually knew her first.
It is soooo not easy!
But, at least I know that he is not lying to me about how things are with them. That is a good thing, but seeing them together when things ARE good between them is difficult.
Neither one of us has a horrible M, but just bad enough that we ended up finding ourselves together.
Never any intentions of hurting our respective spouses, just needing each other.
keep :}! mfl8
My situation sounds so much like yours. My marriage isn't going great (in fact we're planning to separate) and I've started to fall hard for MM. I don't know if he feels the same way or not. We've only been in this A for 2 months and we haven't had IC yet but the attraction between us is so strong. In fact I often worry that one of our spouses will sense it or see something between us that will make them suspicious. You see, we have a very small group of friends we socailize with nearly every weekend and MM & W are among them. Neither of us wants to hurt either of our spouses. In fact we've both tried to end it before things went too far but neither of us can seem to resist the attraction we have to one another. Fortunately for me I guess I know that MM has problems in his m too. He's been married less than a year and I've know about and witnessed their problems since before they were married. He's also told me he felt pressured into marriage but that doesn't help when we are all out together and he is holding her hand or kissing her.
I've been lurking on these boards for awhile but I was never able to get up the courage to post before now. It's nice to see there is someone else out there who is in a situation close to mine. (I was beginning to think everyone was having an A with a coworker.)
jw
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