Should I?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
Should I?
9
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 8:41am

Okay I have posted a couple of times here. I need some advice I don't know what to do..Here's the deal A for about 7 months. We are both married. We are very happy with each other. and both miserable in our M. There has never been any mention made about leaving our M. which is fine for now with me. I just don't think I have what it takes to leave my m right now my children are 3 and 4. I know you can't stay just for the kids but for now I am staying put. okay rambling here's the question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 9:26am

I can so sympathize with your problem.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 10:52am

Thanx!..I know why should I be afraid to just say how I feel. You are right I will feel better once

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 12:18pm

Hi Boodle -


Gonna tell you what I told myself - and my BF too - life is too damn short to spend it holding things in or not doing the things you really want to do.


If you love him - tell him.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 12:31pm

Thanx Tgr. I want to so I am gonna tell him. Gotta find the right moment!..LOL


Boodle

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Sat, 10-18-2008 - 4:59am
Personally having been in the A game for a long time, I would NEVER tell him first. What if he freaks out? You may put him in a very awkward position. Perhaps he is happy w/ out complicating things. Your going to take the fun out of it if he doesn't reciprocate those feelings. If he feels it, he will tell you when HE is ready to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2008
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Sat, 10-18-2008 - 11:52pm
.


Edited 11/23/2008 8:31 pm ET by pisces2008
pisces
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Sat, 10-18-2008 - 11:58pm

Thanx for your reply!.. Still hanging on to it. LOL I sit and think about it and I am so sure he is there because of his actions and just the way he is..But I just don't know how to get it out there plus I think he is afraid to say it to me because I act like such a tough idiot sometimes and I think he thinks it would scare me..LOL If any of that makes sense!..LOL Still waiting on the right moment. He called tonight but just couldn't get it out.LOL It will happen it's building I can feel it..


Thanks so much for your post..


Board seems weird and off....


Boodle

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2008
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 12:20am

Every now and then the board is attacked by 'trolls'. People who have nothing else to do except come and throw their hatred around, usually because they are BS and want to blame the OW. Please ignore those posts they are destructive and not helpful. That is not the purpose of this board.

Your decision to tell AP you love him shouldn't necessarily be made on if you think he will say it back. I would suggest that you say it in person.

Pisces




Edited 11/23/2008 8:31 pm ET by pisces2008
pisces
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
In reply to: boodlemorrow
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 1:27am

Hi Boodle,
AP and I were together for well over a year before we said it. We also danced around it with the phrase "I have love for you" or "I care for you deeply". Finally, we were talking about something difficult and I said(very romantic,lol) "I know you probably don't want to hear this but I love you. I love you very much." It was a crappy moment and not how I envisioned saying it. He didn't say it back which didn't surprise me because of the moment we were in. Can't really get into it on here.

Anyhow, he later said it to me. I was online and it was "love ya". Not a full "I love you". But it took us even more time to reach that point. The point is that once it was out there, it was a little easier to say each time. Now we freely and openly tell each other "I love you" and more expressions of how much we love and why we love. But, it's taken 2 years to get to that point. Don't fret too much and don't be too hurt if he can't say it back. It may just take him a little longer.

I had a BF tell me he loved me early on....FREAKED me the heck out. I was flipping out because I did not WANT him to love me. I just wanted fun, not too much emotion. It just took me longer to get to that point of loving than it did him,lol.

OK, I'm rambling. Good luck with your professions of love!!
J