Should I Call

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Should I Call
5
Tue, 02-03-2004 - 5:59pm
I've posted here before...My OM and I have known each other for 25+ years; affair on and off for 10 years. His W is terminally ill and we stopped seing each other about 3 years ago when she was diagnosed. Our R has been strained over the last year -- he feels very guilty talking to me or initiating contact with me. We exchange Christmas emails, but no other contact. For the past few days, we've been emailing back and forth and it seems so ridiculous that we don't just get on the phone. This seems so trite -- but I feel compelled to call him. I hate to call him at the office because he can never talk freely. I happen to know where he'll be this weekend -- but he doesn't know I know -- and he'll be alone and have his cell phone. Should I take the risk and call him then? Or should I just go back to the status quo and wait it out until he feels ready to call me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
In reply to: susanna2002
Tue, 02-03-2004 - 6:14pm
DON"T CALL HIM. He has told you that needs time to get away from your A - respect his space and leave him alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
In reply to: susanna2002
Tue, 02-03-2004 - 6:33pm
I also don't understand the difference between an email or a phone call . If your talking via email , you might as well talk over the phone . If he doesn't want to talk over the phone then maybe he should stop emailing you .

If he wants space , why should he email you ?

Of course maybe he can sit at the computer and type at any time but he is not as free to talk over the phone ......but I am sure he can find a moment alone where he can talk for a bit on the phone ......like when he is driving in his car .Maybe you should email him and ask him to call when he has a moment alone . If he doesn't then why is email ok and a phone call not .

What is up with these men ??

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2004
In reply to: susanna2002
Tue, 02-03-2004 - 6:57pm
If it were me, I would definetly call him. I'm sure he would love to hear from you and could use some moral support. I'm sure he is probably going thru alot with his wife being ill.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
In reply to: susanna2002
Tue, 02-03-2004 - 7:04pm
Viper,

I emailed him about an issue I needed his legal advice on -- he's a lawyer. We've been emailing back and forth since Friday. I could have called him and he would have been fine with it -- uncomfortable probably like he was betraying his wife somehow. But, hearing my voice gets him re-involved, which makes him feel guilty, etc. Also, we have talked about a future together, which only complicates matters...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
In reply to: susanna2002
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 3:23am
Well in that case maybe you should wait for him to call you ......but tell him he is welcome to call when he is ready .

xoxo ViperDiva