Should I call him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Should I call him?
2
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 4:41pm
For those of you who don't know the story, here's the super short version: Been in a LD emotional A with a MM for nearly a year. He's my best friend and we love each other dearly. We've been busted by his W a couple times - most recently she found old email (from before she found out about us a couple months ago), she freaked, confronted MM and he, not knowing exactly what she had found, confessed that we had talked recently. His W proceeded to call me and send me lots of email, threatening me and insisting on talking to my H. (In the hopes of making her go away, H actually did talk to her - he pretty much just told her to shut up and leave us alone.) MM's W claims she has had enough and that they are going to D. In a very brief phone call to MM a few days ago he confirmed that they are separating. The last I heard from MM was an email saying he was absolutely devastated by what has been going on at home. He also said he wouldn't be able to talk until "later" and to keep checking my email. His final words to me were to keep my chin up.

It has been several days since I've heard from either of them. I'm very, very worried about MM. He is going through some awful times right now. I don't want him to feel abandoned or alone. I want him to know that I'm still here for him. At the same time, however, I'm afraid to contact him. I don't want to do anything that might make the situation worse for either of us. I think we both need a period of NC to allow things to cool off, but I want to talk to him first so he doesn't think I've just up and disappeared.

I guess lostvoyage's post really got to me - he's in a similar situation and is feeling somewhat abandoned by his OW. I worry that MM is feeling the same way. Plus I think he's feeling guilty about all the harassment from his W. I'm going away later this week and if I'm going to call I'd like to do it before I leave.

What do you all think??? Thoughts/suggestions are appreciated!

Peace

GB2

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 5:38pm
Dont call....He knows where you are if he wants to contact you...He must be going through a hard time with his W so let things be for a bit....You have been with him for a while and have been though alot...just let him find himself and his place...Good luck...i know its hard not to contact out MM but sometimes we just have to control ourselves and wait it out....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 5:40pm
Call or email him. Make some connection, but keep it simple, easy and relaxed. Just let him know that your supportive. This little 'touch' may give him (and you) the emotional lift that is needed. You care about this person- let him know this again.

Good luck.

v