Should I call him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
Should I call him?
4
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 10:40pm
What a relief it is to have found a place to talk to people who understand without criticism - I've been thinking a lot about this lately and just wondering anyone has BTDT - please share your thoughts and let me know if you have any advice!

I have been switching from feelings of intense guilt to intense longing for OM these past couple of days...I feel like I am on such an emotional rollercoaster!!! I think about him all the time and want to be with him more than anything, and then I look at my H, and I wish I could feel that kind of passion for him and I feel guilty when I think of how I've betrayed him.

This thing with OM has become such a game though and really, it's tiring to keep it up but I feel like things have just started getting heavy with us (we only met a few months ago and it was a slow start because I was cautious - this is my first A - but the longer we held off the harder it became to resist and here I am now) so I want to make sure I don't become the clingy type who is always available to him. He called me tonight to see what I am doing this weekend, but H was right beside me so I couldn't answer. I'm debating whether I should call him back tonight or wait until tomorrow, since he doesn't always call me back when he says he will.

So I guess my main question is whether you think I should just suck up my pride and call him right now, and also if you have anything to add it is much appreciated! Thanks :)

Avatar for elizajane_1850
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 9:34am


I might not be much help.

I always say I'm not going to call him back - but make him wait a day or two. But most of the time I give in and call or send him a e-mail of somekind.

Is your OM single? Mine is and I think that makes it a little diff than other A.

Right this min I'm playing a game with joe he is on IM and so am I but I won't IM him -waiting for him to IM me. But if he doesn't I will give in.

Makes you act like a 16 year old scholl girl. Sometimes I get so mad at my self for doing some of the things I do.

EJ

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 1:24pm
I'm not clear what pride has to do with this... if you want to see him, call him.

But I also don't quite know what "games" you're referring to when you say things with OM "have been such a game lately." Is this a contest to see who's calling whom first, and therefore who cares the most?

If there are games being played... well, I have no patience for those. So I would call him anyway to at the very least get all the cards on the table and find out what's up.

Good luck...

lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 4:26pm
Hi...

I've been seeing my MM for 18 months, our r has been a total rollercoaster, but lately we've come to some type of compromise and theres no more games being played and no expectations, I guess we've both been through so much together that we know that no matter what we'll be there for each other so although we don't take each other for granted we're enjoying every bit of our A and all the moments we have together, so that we can be friends first and lovers next.

I know that with my MM I do need to play hard to get every once in a while, I need to let him know that I'm not just sitting around waiting for him, and I have a life. This isn't the way it always was, but he gets it now...

If I want to call my MM I do, be yourself, with out loosing yourself, ya know?

=)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 7:34pm
Thanks everyone - yes, OM is single, and I agree I hate games but this is still fairly new and I kind of see why the who-should-call-who game is being played although it is annoying. It does make me feel very juvenile though...lol! I ended up waiting until today to call him, because we didn't have plans last night but we're going to try to meet up tonight. Thanks again.