Should I contact him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Should I contact him?
4
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 11:03am
Last Thursday, MM's wife found out about us. We have been together for about a year. She is still deciding whether or not to kick him out of the house, but he is begging her to stay this weekend because he had plans with his boys (7 and 3). He called me Thursday, Friday, and yesterday, but said since she has all his passwords to phone and computer now, we can't speak. We used to have contact several times a day. How he left it with me is "I'll talk to you sometime next week". I was just online, and he was online, so I just IM'd him syaing "just wanted to say hi-bye", and he replied, "bye". This is so terrible and this no contact is driving me crazy. He is really distancing him himself.

We work together, and I know he has to work night shifts this week. Should I call him at work tonight? I really just want to hear his voice and see how he is doing. What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 3:51pm
Good luck to you.Use your best judgement,but the fact that his w knows about the a is not good of course.I know nc is hard, going through that right now myself.Good time to really think things through though.Hang in there and do what you feel is right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 8:04pm
Hi teenbean,

Nothing freaks me out more than the no-call routine, and I too would be tempted

to call him but considering the circumstances maybe giving some "space" is

not such a bad idea--- with the wife just finding out and him worrying that

he may not see the kids, I'd keep to myself for a while. I know it must suck the

uncertainty and everything but keep in my mind he DOES know how to reach you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 10:19pm
Thanks for responding. My head is telling me not to call because he needs space and when he's ready, he'll call. But my heart is hurting and I am really worried about him and if he has a place to stay. God I wish I could just talk to him. Our conversations are what kept both of us happy. Now we're both without each other. This is a terrible situation and I need him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 9:52am
Given the seriousness of the situation I think you should wait for him to contact you. He is definately in the ringer right now with his wife and the added stress of you trying to contact him will only make his situation more intense. He knows how to contact you and when he does contact you make sure you reassure him that you are ok because he will need to know that...you may not feel ok but know you will be ok...I know it's easier said than done but this is really a situation that he needs to contend with and the more supportive you can be by just letting him know you are there for him, the better...


cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com