SHOULD I GIVE HIM THE PASSCODE?
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SHOULD I GIVE HIM THE PASSCODE?
| Tue, 05-11-2004 - 12:49am |
Well its me again,I have another problem, my H told me to day that he thinks im talking to someone again, he doesnt trust me because I wont give him my password to the internet and I wont give him my passcode to my cell phone. I told him that why do I need to give him my password to check messages that other people left for me and not for him, do you guys think that, its an invasion of my privacy to allow him to check those things,I really think that it's none of his buisness, but he said being in a marriage he should have access to those things, so now that I wont give it to him he's ready to move out.

I went back and read your history, and I have to say that I can totally relate to what you are saying, in that you hope you can get back to where you and your H were at one time.
That is exactly what I am working on in my M at the moment.
My H is aware that I had an A. So, the trust issue is certainly a huge factor for us right now as well. He wants total honesty and absolutely no secrets between us. He needs this for his own piece of mind.
It's been approximately 5 weeks since H found out about my A and subsequent break up with xMM.
I have been brutally honest with my H, even to the point that he knows about this board and has read all of my posts. He knows my yahoo mail password. I don't have a cell, so that is not an issue. Yes, he always needs to know my whereabouts, and very abnormal in our 20 year relationship, he began to ask me for timelines (how long will you be?)
This is not the way I want to live or for our M to be, however, I feel it necessary to give in to most of his requests, at least for a little while, until he feels he can trust me again, or until I earn his trust again. Maybe he will never trust me again, I don't know.
Rebuilding a M takes a lot of hard work, especially after a betrayal, and since I am the betrayer, I feel that I must do everything in my power to provide my H with the confidence that I am working and focusing on him.
Just my thoughts. I hope everything works out for you.
Take care
Red
On a another note if anyone knows about computers... When I have started a thread on here my title for some reason is remembered and will pop up in the subject line for email! I went to Word and checked my clipboard and it wasn't there so I don't know what to do about this. I haven't started a thread becuase of it. If anyone has any suggesttions of where this is lurking in my computer please let me know!
:)
dd
First of all, do you want your H to move out? It might solve a problem for you if you do..
However, if not, you are kind of in a tight spot. The cell phone I can understand your defense of; I do think it's over the line to ask for someone's password to be allowed to check their messages. Even if you suspect something, it's just rude and disrespectful. This isn't the 1800's, and he doesn't own you like property. If my W had asked for my cell password, I'd have told her to keep dreaming and turned it around on her.
But the internet password... well, if my W wants to use the internet she needs to be able to get online. That would seem really suspicious if I hadn't allowed her to go online. If you're just talking about the email password, I can kind of see it I guess.
You said "talking to someone again." If you have been, I'd suggest you really think about whether you want this M to work out. If you haven't, then you have an ace card in that you could decide to turn all of this over and sink his doubts.
rain
Go to Tools - Internet Options - Content
Click Autocomplete - then deselect the boxes there
Then apply
Take care
Red
PS To delete already stored entries, highlight the entry when it appears, then press delete.
Thank Red.
I did that and none of the boxes were selected. But I clicked apply anyway. I have hit the delete button before and it still came up. This is a new computer and I have to find my way around it yet. Thanks again!
dd