should i go ahead?
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| Sun, 08-23-2009 - 10:51am |
Hi there. What a great supportive community this is. It's the first time I am using the messageboards and I really need some advice here.
I am thirtysomething, married and with two gorgeous children. My husband and I have been together since highschool, and married for the last 11 years.
Two years ago, I met with this guy (T) whom I had an instant connection with, and was very attracted to him. He too was married, but his marriage, according to him, was very rocky. We were working together at the time and we used to spend a lot of time together. My husband was not happy with our (then platonic) relationship, and asked me to stop socialising with the guy. I couldn't. I started telling my husband lies, to cover up the phone calls and meetings. T and I flirted at first, then things got more serious. On two occasions, we got physical, although we never went all the way.
Then after that, I found out that T was having an affair with someone else all along (!!!) and so I cut off all relations with him. He moved abroad for 18 months, and was out of my life.
Or so I thought.
Two months ago, he is back again. And working not in the same office, but have to deal with each other frequently. Because we get along so well, (and yes, there is also

"Am I just being a fool and falling into a trap here? How do I say no to T?"
Well, for me that would be a no brainer. He has a history. He is married, cheated on his wife with you and then cheated on YOU with another woman. Do you think this behavior has changed?
I know none of us can throw stones but he seems to be a serial cheater. Is that who you want in your life? Health wise I would also be worried. I would always wonder if he was sleeping with other women. The history thing...
I would avoid this man like the plague. I know you have to work together but I wouldn't put myself in a position where I could be tempted....considering the lust you feel.
Be careful and take care.
I agree with emily.
If you love your husband, please stay clear of this man.