should i stop reading these boards??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2008
should i stop reading these boards??????
11
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 2:30am

hi everyone, well i have just realised something about myself and i dont think i like it. Please be aware that i dont wish to offend anyone with what i want to say. This is a fantastic board, the women and men here are all so nice, and everyone is so helpfull. I know that the support, advice and often just simple ears to vent too that is on these boards has helped many, ive seen their are tears, laughs, humour, sorrow and many more emotions,

"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 6:36am
I have also felt that way at times, second guessing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2007
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 6:59am

Yes, I agree. I too am/was involved with a MM. we had 3 wonderful years, then I started reading the boards and started questioning. Do not get me wrong, they have helped also, but I think I went to far. We had agreed that are M were not worth staying, we were both leaving at some point. Just not for each other, but we would be there as friends for support. I left in feb. he was there for support, emotional and Financial. He was a best friend, he gave me the strength to do what had to be done.


I got lonely after while, he backed off some. Had some issues at home. I went to the boards for help and support. Yes, they helped some, but I also started questioning his actions, and comparing him to others. Now I am totally alone. He has not made contact in a week or more. We talked every day, we seen each other a few times a week, and now nothing.


It wasn't even a PA, it never really was, especially after I left H.


I'm still trying to figure out what happened, but I know a lot was the fact I went to the boards. We never argued, never fought. I left an abusive M of 14 years, so fighting is out of the question for me. But I asked questions, to many, I withdrew, I got depressed. I chased him away.


I know these boards are for support, and there are people out there that need it. But I would probably do better without. It didn't help me.


Keep up the good work!!! Others do need you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 9:43am

You need to take your R for what it is and not read into it from what others are going through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 10:23am
I feel the same way at times..after reading so many sad stories here, I get depressed and anxious and question everything AP says or does. Funny thing is that he is so affectionate now and more loving then he ever was and it really does give me some hope that he may leave his M after all..but after reading about all those empty promises, years of waiting and broken hearts, I feel anxiety again.
One day at a time. This is such a dangerous game we all playing...Good luck to everyone, you're all like sisters to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 10:28am
There is good and bad in everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 10:35am
I do the exact same thing. Funny how this board helps so much in so many ways, but at the same time makes me start to question everything, even when things are fine. I remember when I was in college taking abnormal psychology I did the exact same thing. I would start over analzying things with my then bf and creating issues that we didn't even have, just because I read about it happening to someone else.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2008
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 1:28pm

I must agree with all you posters...it is verry true that this board is fantastic and offers support and anwsers to questions our APs find hard to express...but must admit to having questioned my AP more having been on this board....

Some jhas been good but some bad...but it has actually helped us rather a lot...

Just my thoughts..


LT


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 3:12pm

I feel that if you are here reading these boards then you must have something in your A that you're not sure of and hope that some here can shed some light into your situation. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. I know that being in an A makes some of us insecure and most have questions they're afraid to ask their AP. We basically give the posters an idea of what could be going on base on their questions. If what you read doesn't apply to you then it doesn't apply. Everyone is different and each situation is dependent upon how you handle it and what your R with your AP is set-up to be.

But, if you are like a hypochondriac and adapts everything you hear or read to yourself or your situation, then this place may not be the right place for you and maybe you should stop reading these boards....

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 3:38pm

I 100% agree with Goddess.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2008
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 3:52pm

MMM while true that support is the main purpose here I think that it should be

Pages