Should I tell him?
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Should I tell him?
| Mon, 05-17-2004 - 7:25pm |
Should I tell MM I love him? Here's my story for anyone who doesn't know (I'm a semi-lucker, semi-poster) I have been M for 12 years - fallen out of L w/my H - it just isn't there anymore...we don't get along, fight alot, etc. But, have two small children and primarly stay for them (but, thinking am I better to get out now? different post topic) Anyway - been seeing MM for 1 year. Very intense at times (very roller coaster at times too - and yes, I obsess WAY too much over the down times) We talk just about every day and meet up at least 1x per week (wink, wink) Anyway - as much as I've tried to keep my feelings at bay for him - I've fallen big time for him. No other man has ever, ever had this connection w/me or effect on me. We "kinda" tossed the L word out there in the heat of the momement and he's yelled it to me a few times as he gets in the car. but, it's typically...I love making love to you..I love your...etc. Anyway - over the w/e - we met up for our weekly session and during a very passionate moment - it came out of both our mouths - but, we both quickly added..I love making love with you.
So..question on the table - should I come clean and tell him how I really feel? Early on - he made it very clear what we were all about and even told me not to let him fall for me. I'm scared he'll run in the other direction..I'm also scared he'll never know my true feelings for him. Truth is - I love him!!!!!!!!!!

dd
I know I just felt like he had put himself sort of out on a limb by telling me those things and I should do something. I didn't say "love" and I did try to reassure that what we talked about back in Jan still stands (we talked about never wanting to split up our families) So I keep thinking it will be ok, but on the other hand I worry that since it has been so long since he has offered anything up he might have decided he was just infatuated or something. I don't know I just hope he doesn't turn on me or something. I hope I got the point across that I just really care about him he is important to me but I like things the way they are. I still feel sick.
dd
Hi ducks,
First thing I will ask... is what do you want from him and what do you want from the relationship you have with him???
I'll get to why I have asked those questions in just a moment.
MM and I have been in our affair for 4 years now... while originally it was simply friends with common problems... turning into a friends with a physical side... for me it was just a natural forgone conclusion that eventually this man would mean so much more to me.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
dd
Hey DD,
Sorry... I haven't been around as much lately... and when I am... I find I'm limited in response time as I always seem to have one of my darling children tagging on me.
Give him a little time... he may be mulling it over and deciding on how to reply to you... in the right words... while sometimes emails may be good for getting all out... sometimes you just can't seem to find the right words without it sounding wrong... if that makes sense?
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My Affair Support
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"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly"
"Happiness is like a butterfly, if pursued it is always out of our reach. However if we sit quietly, it comes and rests gently on our shoulder"
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
Well, I told mine. Our A has always been based on honesty. When we met, he said once, jokingly, "now, the key is, not to fall in love". I laughed. I said no way, wouldn't happen, it just wasn't my style.
3 weeks later, I was in love with him. And I told him so. I made no demands, put on no pressure, I just said it with a smile. I have never regretted it. I know he doesn't love me — he's even told me he doesn't — but he likes me and needs me and treats me well. When he seemed nervous about the intensity of my feelings for him once, I just said that I NEVER needed him to love me back. I said that feeling this great about someone is its own reward. And it is. sometimes I need to step back and remind myself of that; but in truth, I'm just enjoying being in love again, without he pressure of finding Mr. Right, and worrying if he loves me back, and if we'll get married and have a family...been there. Done that. Doing something different now. And enjoying it. And I know he really cherishes the affection I have for him and that it makes him feel good.
So, I don't see how it can hurt. :)
Good luck!