Should I tell his wife?
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Should I tell his wife?
| Sat, 02-28-2004 - 11:21pm |
Hi everybody. im hoping to get some advice about my situation. i have been seeing a married man on and off for about three years. He's 20 years my senior and I am 20 years old. I just mhad a beautiful baby girl two months ago, and he is the father. I never expected him to leave his wife for me. he has three children the youngest being a 14 year old girl. He always said he had to stay with his wife even though he dioesn't love her because he needs to be around his daughter. i never bought the "i'm staying for the kids" story, but i liked being with him and knew that sex was the only thing we had in common although I have to admit I loved him tremendously and still do . well, the affair is over, and i've decided that i want to raise my baby on my own, and i don't want anyone to know she was a product of our affair. he has agreed to this. but i feel guilty about everything. everytime i see my daughter i am reminded of how it is my fault she will never have a father. I am so angry that he agreed to my decision so easily. what kind of man would just give up his daughter like that? one who doesnt want to get caught by his wife, i guess. well, tonite i called his house for the first time. his wife answered, and i hung up. i don't know what possessed me to call. i was going to tell her everything. but i couldn't bring myself to do it. if i have to suffer the guilt and shame for what i've done then he should have to too, right? someone tell me if im right or wrong. doesn't she deserve to know?
jessi
jessi

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You've been seeing this man for almost 3 years?
And you're 20? He's 40?
I'm sorry, but most of us on this board are older...
And I'm sorry but this man took advantage of a child...
How on earth did you ever get involved with him in the first place? Teacher?
NO, it's not YOUR job to tell the wife...
But if he was in a position of authority, the authorities need to know about this...before he takes advantage of another child...and at 17 , sweety, you were a child, although I know you probably disagree with me...
I think you need to go to court to prove paternity, and get child support for your child...
Ohhhhhhhhhhh this man just makes me sooooooo mad...
Laurie
I agree with Laurie on all points.
I will add that your twenty your going to meet a REAL MAN someday who will love you and your baby, your just starting out honey.
FREE
I know where you are coming from. He is a snake and he should be paying child support to your daughter but what makes you think SHE deserves to know?
He sounds like a selfish b*****d and if ANYTHING you should feel sorry for HER! Her husband got a girl half his age pregnant. You know what? She might know that she is married to a snake. She might not. But why do you want to hurt her and their children when you are trying to hurt HIM????
THE BEST WAY TO HURT THIS MAN IS THOUGH HIS WALLET. Your child is entitled to monetary support until she is 18 or has finished college (if she chooses to go).
Find a social worker that can help you apply for COURT ORDERED support and find you a therapist to work though your anger/pain/guilt.
Regardless of how this affair and childbirth has aged you; you are a young girl. But I PROMISE if you get help from a good therapist that when the time is right, you will find a nice, kind man for yourself and he will be a great father to your daughter.
p.s. When a MM says he isn't going to leave his wife & family - HE MEANS IT.
This man makes me so mad!
She needs to tell her parents, the authorities, and the courts...
The wife will find out when he starts getting served...
Jessi honey... I'm usually one to say... you have no right to tell his wife... but in your instance... I feel that it may just be necessary.
I do agree with the others... that this man has certainly taken advantage of you... and as for using the 'I stay for the children' I feel it no longer cuts it in your circumstance... as he now has another child with you... and what about that child??
I think once you have your mind in order... as you will need to do this... talk to him... tell him how you feel... that you need for your child to have a father... whether that be in name only... you need it for your child.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
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