Should I tell my best Friend ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Should I tell my best Friend ?
3
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 12:54pm
I am having an affair with a man out of state. I hate lying an making up stories to my best friend. She thinks this is a start of a real relationship with someone that is available. This person said he doesn't want to divorce his wife. I am ok with this since our attraction and connection with each other is so strong. This just started a few months ago. Anyway, if I don't tell my friend, then the lies continue. If I tell her, she will definately disapprove and judge me. Has anyone been here, done this as in telling their friends? What has the reaction been? I am an adult and I don't need her approval but I just don't want to lie. Thanks for any feedback,

Annie90210
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 1:31pm
My EMA and OM have never been and will never be a topic of discussion with my best friend, for many reasons. She would never betray me nor would I assume she would judge me but somethings are just too close to home to share...I suggest you confide in a friend who is in a similar situation and also in an EMA because those who are not cant relate anyways...

Best of luck

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 1:37pm
Hello,

Don't tell. Its best to not tell regardless of whether or not a friend will be supportive. In your case, you already know she will not be supportive. If you tell her, while you continue to see your MM you will feel disapproval from your friend. Any happy times you have will be affected by this. Any bad times will be met with "well, I told you not to get involved". At least if she thinks its a real relationship you can share good and bad times and get support from her. Yes, its deceitful but the whole nature of having an A is deceitful. And in the odd chance you and MM get together, it is best for noone to ever know how it started. You may think this will never happen but when MM and I started seeing each other 6 months ago we both said we would never leave our M and now we are living together for a month. Are we insane? Of course. But at least now I can pretend to have just started to see a new person and he will not be met with hostility by my friends and family. Just my 2cents.

Ivy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:54pm
Thanks for your replys Ivy and Liberal. I see your point. I would much rather not tell her but then I think, what if she finds out somehow? Then months may have passed and there will be many more lies told down the line than now. But I want my experience with my MM to be a good one as it is right now. We enjoy each other and are having so much fun together on line, on the phone and in person when we can swing it. Very exciting for both of us. I think I will take your advice and keep my mouth shut. Take care,

Annie90210