Six Months Later

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Six Months Later
1
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 7:18am

It's been 6 months since exAP ended it, a bittersweet ending that devastated me.

It's been a hard slow process but I managed to pick myself up although I still have hard moments, and some good has come from it.

I found out so much crap about exAP that it sickens me, and I realize that he is so not good for me or ANY woman.

I am now best friends with his other exOW, one who I thought hated me, yet found out she defended me, told me he was wrong to do what he was doing to me, this when he told her I was just a piece of a**.

She no longer has an R with him either. Long story short, he broke both our hearts, and he is seeing someone who was supposedly her friend, and we both found out he was seeing her since August, along with seeing both of us and at least 2 others.

Her and I spend a lot of time together, and with my H's approval we have ironically become lovers. Yes, I am bi. Something I always knew but never acted on until recently.

So I guess I can say she is my AP, only my H knows and definitely doesn't have a problem with it.

Ironic, isn't it?

Funny, we 'date' more than exAP and I did. Considering he only took me to dinner once, the first time we were together, every other time we got together was just for sex.

Oh the signs were there, the rumors, the warnings, I was so in love with him, I chose to ignore what was so blatantly evident.

I guess I was hoping against all odds that he would love me too.

But in any case, it's over now, and for the most part working with him, I can look at him and not feel much of anything except disgust.

The woman he is seeing I work with also, can't stand her, not because she is seeing him, I never could, and she hypocritically talked about me seeing him, only to do the same thing with the same man.

Now I know why, she wanted him.

And now she has him.

I read a great quote the other day. The best revenge when a woman steals your man is to let her keep him. LOL

Ok, he never really was mine, but I realize that he will do the same thing to her eventually.

As for H and I, we are ok, although I have not come out and admitted to him about exAP, he knows, maybe some day I will talk to him about it.

H does want me to be happy, and after 6 months and a lot of tears, a lot of self reflection, self recriminations, I am really finding myself in a good place. The wounds are still there, but well on the way to healing.

H is willing to overlook my indiscretion, we talk more than ever, spend more time together and have a pretty good mutual understanding.

He no longer yells and screams at me, which over the years really damaged our M. And when he does start to raise his voice, I stop him in his tracks, I will no longer tolerate it.

I just wanted to post and let those who remember me know that I am really doing good.

I also want to say for those who are in that place of heartbreak, when things are mixed up, confused, in between ending it and jumping back on the old A roller coaster, that life does goes on, the heart does heal, that the end doesn't have to destroy you, that you can get off that ride and move beyond it. And become a better person for the hard lessons learned.

And I know that if exAP ever comes knocking at my door again (yes, he still hits on me) then I can honestly look him in the face and tell him to go F*** himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 9:41pm

Nice to hear from you. Thanks for the update!!! Good for you for finally seeing your exAP for what he really is.

Take care.

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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
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