Sneaking Out
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Sneaking Out
| Sun, 05-03-2009 - 10:30pm |
I recently snuck out of the house the other night to go see friends and ap, who was hanging out with the friends...i lied to hubby of my whereabouts, and my gf backed me up. I had a wonderful time that nite, and it really got me to think about a few things.
One is, if me and ap cross the line any further, we are going to potentially ruin what we have now, as special friends. Two is, the guilt is would feel from leading a double life more than i am now, three, a lot of peoples lives could be upset, four, loss of self respect, five, loss of my life as i know it to be right now. But i also want him very much, and its so hard. I just love being with him. I'm also afraid crossing the line further could lead to more of an emotional attachment than we already have, and its hard enough already not getting to see him everyday, and becoming more involved would just add to my torture of wanting to be with him and i cant.
So, basically sneaking out got me to think about what could happen if i let it become a habit...which i dont think i will, cuz i'd rather be single and available to go out, rather than to have to continue to lie to my husband.
One is, if me and ap cross the line any further, we are going to potentially ruin what we have now, as special friends. Two is, the guilt is would feel from leading a double life more than i am now, three, a lot of peoples lives could be upset, four, loss of self respect, five, loss of my life as i know it to be right now. But i also want him very much, and its so hard. I just love being with him. I'm also afraid crossing the line further could lead to more of an emotional attachment than we already have, and its hard enough already not getting to see him everyday, and becoming more involved would just add to my torture of wanting to be with him and i cant.
So, basically sneaking out got me to think about what could happen if i let it become a habit...which i dont think i will, cuz i'd rather be single and available to go out, rather than to have to continue to lie to my husband.

I been sneaking out for about a month now to see my AP.
Seems like you hit on a good list.
- potentially ruin what you have as special friends
- guilt ifrom leading a double life
- a lot of peoples lives could be upset
- loss of self respect
- loss of my life as you know it to be right now.
- more of an emotional attachment than you already have
- becoming more involved would just add to the torture of wanting to be with him
and "i'd rather be single and available to go out, rather than to have to continue to lie to my husband" sounds like you are thinking of divorce. for this man or for yourself?
Mrs.