So Devastated :(
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So Devastated :(
| Wed, 11-25-2009 - 2:41pm |
I'm going to break things off with AP for the 3rd time today.
Let me tell the latest. I'm trying not to cry right now. First off, This A has been draining me from the very beginning. I try to just enjoy our time but I cant. All the secrecy and lies and hiding and wanting more and wondering will he really leave makes me feel insane. It's always in the back of my mind, never leaving.
AP is good to me even though he in unemployed. He tries to help me when he can. He tell me he loves

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Caribu,
This IS it. He has gone too far and he has disrespected you way too much with talking to this woman. It is over. Please.. You are AMAZIng and talk about him all the time and love him like crazy. You gave him your all. And look what he's doing.
He has to be OUT.
Hug and strength to you, you can do it.
Sunshine
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Caribu,
I'm going to reply to you on here (I read your original post in Torn's thread but thought it best to write more here).
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
Wow, you are dead on with the feelings again. I'm not speaking for caribu, but it certainly applies for me. I was trying not to call/text during the 2 days he was "out of town" just to see how I'd handle it when I finally do break it off. A small taste of what it would be like without talking to him.
I was dealing ok, but I think that's because I knew I'd hear from him at some point. I was thinking, hm, I could do this, this isn't so bad and started mentally listing all the negative things about him/our relationship. I was even more ticked because of his lying to me again...I was hurting and mad (still am, ha). It started making me want to break it off when he returned. Then, yes, I didn't hear from him and started feeling kind of lonely, especially being Thanksgiving and not really having anyone (my family lives 1000 miles away and I hardly have any friends).
When he finally did contact me, I was glad to hear from him, and yep, that started making me back down on the idea of breaking it off. Ugh. I start thinking, "hm, ok, I can deal with this. I like xyz about him. Maybe I can deal." Stupid me.
You're not stupid, its a cycle.
What I do when I try to think of breaking it off is:
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
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