This is so hard

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
This is so hard
3
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 1:40pm
My 5 month affair ended 3 weeks ago. He was at the office today and this is getting too much for me to handle. I caught him looking at me several times, and I was so hoping that he would tell me he wants another go at it. I think maybe eventually he will, I still see the lust in his eyes when he looks at me and when he talks to me. We shared a lot of things in that 5 months, it was so exciting. I am 10 yrs older than him but he made me feel so young and alive. Things were so intense at times, it's hard to pretend that nothing ever happened between us. He said that he had been attracted to me since he met me a year and a half ago. He winked at me the other day, that was something between us. I don't know if he realized he did it. I have to force myself not to call him or not to ask him if he still thinks about it and still wants it as much as I do. This is driving me crazy, I have good days and I have bad days, this is really a bad day. I am feeling so down, I wish I knew if he still wants me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 1:51pm
aw tempted - I am sorry you are suffering like this - hopefully it will get easier with time.

(((hugs)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 4:29pm
(((tempted))), I'm sorry you're going through this, but tell me:
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 1:41am
You sound so sad. Do you work with him? if so, that can be difficult. I worked with the mm, when my affair started, then ended. I had to quit my job, and move on, in order to be happy. Would you consider finding another job? seeing him on a daily basis will only add to your pain. If quitting is not an option, then i would try to go on and be happy. Sometimes finding someone new will help you get over someone. Just try and stay busy; find things to do. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing that he hurt you. He may be on an ego trip right now. Men can let us down sometimes, but we just have to pick up the pieces and make ourselves happy. Show him you can survive this. He may have had legit reasons for ending it, but he could've at least explained to you why, so you would have some closure. If you still must work with him, i would suggest moving around in the office away from him, and try to avoid looking at him, at all. If you do, you will only hurt more. It sounds like you got attached to him. It's unfair if he was playing games with you. But remember, this is his problem, okay? you are worth more than that. Brush off the dirt and go on. Good luck to you. I hope you're back on your feet and very happy again, real soon. Take care.