this is so hard plus i'm venting!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
this is so hard plus i'm venting!!!
6
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 11:46am
It seems every time he comes down to visit(which is few & far between)it hurts more & more & just hard to deal with. He's supposed to be here with me this morning, but instead, he took off with W & kids somewhere. Which means I have to wait. He got in last night about 6 & was with me till late,but still, he said he would be here in the morning. So I'm all dressed pretty with no where to go & feeling like crap, but I HAVEN'T CRIED, yet, which is good. I know he'll come here once he's done, either way though, it sucks all around.

The thing is. I had a conversation with him not to long ago about telling me things ,anything concerning him & his W. so that I wouldn't be hit with it later. Sooo what happens?!! Sure enough!! Something happen that he SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED before he got here, but didn't so I had to deal with that when I saw him intially.

I know having a EMA that the rules are different. I know that. But crap, we've been at this 3 bloody years and u would think that somewhere, somehow, that at least a little part of this would go smoothly, but I know, that is wishful thinking.

So as I'm waiting for him. All that I can think about is ending this with him. I'm annoyed, hurt, upset, not just about today, but it seems it's just another freaking accumulation of everything!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 11:48am
Hi Sunshine,

I can imagine your anxiety!! I'm sorry to hear about your disappointment this morning. Hopefully he'll make up for it when you finally do get together. Keep the lines of communication open. Good luck!

beachbabe

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 11:52am
Hey Sunshine,

You don't sound really surprised in your post about this turn of events. And you certainly don't sound happy. At this point in your R, is it worth it? An "accumulation of everything" sounds like the bad is starting to outweigh the good, and other than continuous frustration, what are you getting from this EMA?

If he comes to see you later, and everything is lovely, does that erase or minimize the stress and pain you are going through now? I would think, too, that after three years you would be in a more even-keel place with MM and how your R works... have things changed recently, or are you just at a point where this pattern is becoming unacceptable?

Just some thoughts... regardless, I hope things work out for you, the way YOU want.

lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 10:58pm
I'm really sorry about your constant frustration. I have a pet peave about saying you'll call or be here at one time and showing up hours later. Unexceptable! I get so annoyed by that stuff. I know that in EMA's sometimes even dropping a line at times is just not possible. But it's hard to say the least, especially when they do it alot. So vent away! I hope he's worth the frustration, but he must be if you've stuck around for 3 years. Are u m? I'm not so it gets frustrating waiting around all of the time. Since he's the one who's got to sneak off, you tend to be the one stuck waiting. Again, sorry about your morning, I hope it got better later on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 4:48pm
You're right we should be on a more even kiel and I am a bit tired of it, but I'm not, yet, ready to leave. I care for & love this man dearly. It's just that the long distance thing is hard and when he's in town. I do "expect" him to be with me, but, that's foolish on my part because of the situation & he doesn't come to town alone. He always has the family in tow. I conveiently,:), forget about that part.

He did show up and wound up spending the rest of the evening with me.

You did however give me somethings to think about, :).

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 4:58pm
I'm divorced and he's married. We ALL know about the "waiting around". I do get frustrated, but I think he's worth it, :)....

He did show up and it did get better, eventually.....

How long have you've been in yours?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 6:30pm
I've been in mine for almost a year now. He does plan to leave & it should be anyday now. Hopefully as soon as possible. I'm glad to hear he did show up and the day got better. jdreamer