this is so hard plus i'm venting!!!
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this is so hard plus i'm venting!!!
| Sat, 09-13-2003 - 11:46am |
It seems every time he comes down to visit(which is few & far between)it hurts more & more & just hard to deal with. He's supposed to be here with me this morning, but instead, he took off with W & kids somewhere. Which means I have to wait. He got in last night about 6 & was with me till late,but still, he said he would be here in the morning. So I'm all dressed pretty with no where to go & feeling like crap, but I HAVEN'T CRIED, yet, which is good. I know he'll come here once he's done, either way though, it sucks all around.
The thing is. I had a conversation with him not to long ago about telling me things ,anything concerning him & his W. so that I wouldn't be hit with it later. Sooo what happens?!! Sure enough!! Something happen that he SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED before he got here, but didn't so I had to deal with that when I saw him intially.
I know having a EMA that the rules are different. I know that. But crap, we've been at this 3 bloody years and u would think that somewhere, somehow, that at least a little part of this would go smoothly, but I know, that is wishful thinking.
So as I'm waiting for him. All that I can think about is ending this with him. I'm annoyed, hurt, upset, not just about today, but it seems it's just another freaking accumulation of everything!!!!
The thing is. I had a conversation with him not to long ago about telling me things ,anything concerning him & his W. so that I wouldn't be hit with it later. Sooo what happens?!! Sure enough!! Something happen that he SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED before he got here, but didn't so I had to deal with that when I saw him intially.
I know having a EMA that the rules are different. I know that. But crap, we've been at this 3 bloody years and u would think that somewhere, somehow, that at least a little part of this would go smoothly, but I know, that is wishful thinking.
So as I'm waiting for him. All that I can think about is ending this with him. I'm annoyed, hurt, upset, not just about today, but it seems it's just another freaking accumulation of everything!!!!

I can imagine your anxiety!! I'm sorry to hear about your disappointment this morning. Hopefully he'll make up for it when you finally do get together. Keep the lines of communication open. Good luck!
beachbabe
You don't sound really surprised in your post about this turn of events. And you certainly don't sound happy. At this point in your R, is it worth it? An "accumulation of everything" sounds like the bad is starting to outweigh the good, and other than continuous frustration, what are you getting from this EMA?
If he comes to see you later, and everything is lovely, does that erase or minimize the stress and pain you are going through now? I would think, too, that after three years you would be in a more even-keel place with MM and how your R works... have things changed recently, or are you just at a point where this pattern is becoming unacceptable?
Just some thoughts... regardless, I hope things work out for you, the way YOU want.
lily
He did show up and wound up spending the rest of the evening with me.
You did however give me somethings to think about, :).
He did show up and it did get better, eventually.....
How long have you've been in yours?