So now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
So now what?
5
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 3:59pm

Hi Ladies,


Some of you may remember my post last week... "Need Insight"...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: neenasimone
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 4:39pm

>>>"We did not BD. Mainly because it would be my first time since having a baby"<<<

If you just had a baby, isn't that not enough to keep you busy? You said he never responded to your email, that may be because in the light of day after the alcohol wore off he's not interested.

>>>"I cannot get him, those moments, that passion out of my mind. Songs remind me of it. Scents remind me of it. I can still feel him on my body... I can feel him kissing me, running his fingers through my hair.... everything... What now???"<<<

Use the memory to spice up your M. No use wasting it on someone who may not be interested and has the potential to devastate your family. Find that passion and loving feeling and give it to someone who's there for you (your H).



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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
In reply to: neenasimone
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 7:50am

Thanks for the post, Goddess_g2.


I didn't say I just had a baby. I said that it would be the first time since I had the baby. That was 10 months ago. And my husband has

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
In reply to: neenasimone
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 9:01am

Neena, I'm a SAHM to 2 kids who are probably comparable in age to yours, and even though I'm plenty busy with my kids and even though I love them more than life itself, my love for them (and theirs for me) doesn't keep me warm at night. Wanting to be happy in

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
In reply to: neenasimone
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 11:26am

MissBHavin...


Thank you SO SO much for validating what I was feeling. Earlier, I was really feeling like maybe it's just me, and I am so wrong. It feels so good to know even one person out there understands what i'm going through. No matter how busy and how much love the children fill me up with, it cannot replace the love a spouse should be bringing. they cannot possibly fill that void. and while they do tire me out, i still feel alone in my heart. and i crave physical attention.


My situation with H is similar. Maybe not so bad though. He's not a one way street, but it's still just not that satisfying or interesting to me. Everything is a joke to him, if I do try to spice things up. And it's all business. Done, over, moving right along... you know? I'm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: neenasimone
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 2:00pm

Okay then Neena, I see that you have problems. Do everything you can to resolve your M problems before you embark on an A with someone (anyone). Drag your H's arse off to MC (marriage counseling) and let him know that your M is hanging on the line. If he doesn't want to go with you, then go by yourself so you can sort out what you need to do with your life. DO NOT let a "D-Day" (discovery day) give your H a free pass to blame all your marital problems on your A or you, that's why I'm suggesting holding off having an a for now.

I wouldn't stay in an M where I'm not happy. You shouldn't either, but do the right and honorable thing first. That's why we have divorce in this country, but only after you've exhausted all possibilities in making your M work. You'll be saving your self esteem and dignity that way.

Happy Holidays.



Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com