So ready to be done....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
So ready to be done....
15
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 6:52pm

I feel like a mental basketcase!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 12:45am

Yes MPV, I am pretty sure I can and will end this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 2:17am

OK MPOV, you piqued my interest with this line...

>> I tried to end my A, thought I was there and went back. I'm still sucking on the crumbs that she is throwing me like the pigeons in the park swarming a old lady with a bag of day old bread. I imagine them being really good crumbs from a nice loaf of sourdough bread, though.<<

Is it just about the S that keeps you and AP together? If AP is so busy, what is feeding your hope that things will change when clearly they are going the other way and her time for you is lessening?
Have you left your W or are ending the M?- I know you had no IC with W from another post but it does not seem to make a lot of men leave a worn M. Finances usually are the main anchor and the fear of fallout from family and friends.

Lilolita, i am so sorry for your ssituation too. It seems that your AP is playing a not so very nice game of "I will find you when I need you but otherwise leave me alone". I think you need to start either the 180 on from the Healing Library and give him a taste of you putting yourself and family first. It will not stop you thinking of him, but will help redirect your attention and energy to other things. If he cared IMO, a 2 minute phone call would be all you need to sustain contact. I would also be peeved if I was blown off with a *Hey* when no one else was around. To be treated like that by someone that professes to care about you is abhorrent. Even if AP was feeling guilty, a quick explaination would suffice but you are not even getting diddly. Take his behavior as the indicator that it is time to say goodbye as he shows no compassion for your feelings at all.

I wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do from here.

SB.

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 1:55pm

Lilolita


I feel EXACTLY the same as you. MM with MWAP for 2 years. For two months it is has been no sex talk. Driving me crazy. Cant take it much longer. You cant go

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 3:50pm

SB,

It's not just the S that keeps in the A. I honestly don't know what it is that keeps me there...it's a very complicated situation for me; as I know it is for everybody.

There is a part of me that hopes that her work lessens over the next few weeks and that there is more time for us. In the meantime, I am working out some of my issues and understanding why I am so emotionally involved. The trust is that I feel very vulnerable right now ( emotionally and at work, since we work so closely together), and I don't like that feeling; not one bit.

As far as my M goes, all the things you outlined are definitely issues for me in my M. I am trying hard to wind that down as I don't think the current situation is fair for my W or our son. I know that she and I care about each other, but I am less and less confident that we should stay M.

I wish I had it more figured out.

MPV

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 1:28pm
"why I am so emotionally involved." Every single person on this earth needs to be emotionally connected to another person to survive.we are human with emotions and feelings.no one accepts us unconditionally ,not even our parents.we try to reach their expectations.not even our kids.when we marry,we 'connect' to that person and make a foundation for the rest of our lives but 50-60% of them end because of the lack of that connection.when we find that person with whom we connect,there is a certain peace that yes,he/she understands me in a way no another can.you wont understand what it is once you dont have it but i guess you have experienced both- lack of it in your m and having found it in your a.when an emotional connection is really strong,you can feel each other from afar,w/o saying a word.it feels one person in two bodies and goes beyond physical involvement.
you,i feel ,are deeply emotionally connected and thius feeling vulnerable.show her your vulnerability and see what happens! believe me,if she feels the same,you will feel more vulnerable and she will be more closer to you.its hard to put in words.its more about feeling.
i would never trade my emotional wellbeing for anything.as i grow older,that is what keeps me sane ,content,happy,name all the feel goods!

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