So sad for MM...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
So sad for MM...
3
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 4:20pm
It's been such a stressful weekend. Almost didn't post this, but as always need a place to vent that's safe. MM's W has been really horrible lately. Doesn't know about me, but hates it because he spends so much time on the West Coast. She knew when she married him that he traveled 20 days a month -- sheesh -- he's been doing the same thing for 25 years and doesn't really know anything else. She has a problem with spending, so they are always on the verge of bankruptcy, no matter how much he sends home. She's been trashing him everywhere (and we work in a small, close-knit industry) so he's feeling crummy about that, and now she says she "doesn't want him to come back home." Personally, I think he's better off but I can't say that to him. It's just not my place. My heart hurts for him because I know that she's the love of his life. Truthfully, I wish *I* was (even though I have absolutely nothing I could offer him long term) so that's probably part of my problem. I've never had a 'love of my life' until him -- and I can't tell him that either. Geez -- the last thing he needs now is that kind of pressure. Stupid me... fell in love. What a mess. Just wish I knew what to tell him or how to comfort him. Just need to vent, I guess.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 4:27pm
Wow saturday...that's awful! How has OM stayed married to this woman? It sounds like she doesn't realize what she has in him...

What could you tell him? I guess just be there to listen and be a shoulder to cry on if he needs it. I hope that everything works out for the best for him and for you. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 5:39pm
You are a wise woman, Sister, and you understand that whatever is going on between him and his wife he will have to deal with on his own. But you can most certainly help him through this hard time - it really isn't terribly difficult to comfort a man and show that you care about him without actually saying it. Be understanding. If he feels like venting - listen. If he feels like talking - talk to him. If he asks for reassurance - give it to him. Be gentle. A soft touch, an affectionate look, a sweet kiss... It works for me without fail.

Sorry for your pain. Hope this helps at least some.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 9:45am
Thank you, Boston... it's reassuring that sometimes just being around is enough. And it's really comforting to hear that from a man who has been on both sides of the issue. I guess I will just continue being his safe harbor. Not such a bad thing to be, really. Thanks, again.