Some advice from a former MAS

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Some advice from a former MAS
2
Tue, 09-04-2012 - 2:07pm

I posted on here previously from time to time.  I was involved in an affair in which I left my spouse and we  planned a long, happy life together....  So, we lived happily ever after...right??

WRONG!!

Yes, I ended up getting caught by my ex-husband after the seperation and at one point I thought he might kill me.  Our divorce is final. 

As for XAP...Yes, thats EX afffair partner...he ended up cheating on ME with another woman...he is still with her as far as I know/

My words of advice.....and I would have NEVER said this while I was in the affair.  Run.  RUN as fast as you can away from an affair.  Get a divorce and start from scratch.  I found the love of my life 6 months ago post my XAP break-up (which was DEVASTATING to me)  and we are so extremely happy!  He knows all about my affair....we keep no secrets. 

The affair was worth it on one level and one level alone....it made me get a divorce from an abusive ex husband.  BUT...I could have done that WITHOUT an affair.   Life is so much better now having a relationship out in the OPEN with a man I absolutely adore.  Think twice, ladies and gentleman. If you think you'll NEVER get caught, if you think it will all work out PERFECTLY....SO DID I!!! I was wrong.   And my advice on affairs....move on!  You DESERVE to be happy!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 09-06-2012 - 10:19pm

I'm so glad it all worked out for you in the end, despite the really rough road.  I had just posted in another thread that I wish more people would come back and update us so we know what happens in these As.  I am glad to hear you told your new partner about your A.  I often wonder if I will be able to do that.  I want to..mostly because I don't want to start out with lies, but also so he will always know not to trust me with XAP.  But then I am in a quandry, b/c my XH doesn't know about the A, and I don't think it is right for my future H (whoever he is) to know something like that that XH doesn't know.  Oh well, I haven't vene had more than two dates with any guy, so I can worry about that later, eh?  LOL!  But thanks for checking in again!