some advice please
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some advice please
| Fri, 09-05-2003 - 1:16pm |
a couple months ago i told my mm he had to decide what he wanted. we've been seeing each other for over 2 years. a couple months ago i finally found the nerve to tell him he had to make a choice god that was the hardest night of my life breaking up with someone i didn't want to breakup with. well he called me back after a weekend with his wife and kids and told me of course i was all he thought about and that he'd be crazy to let the love of his life slip through his fingers. well with summer approaching his wife was coming up on her break and she requested that they try to work out their differences and try and make things work 5 weeks with out seeing him was what i was lookin at. well after the first week he called me and said he told her he wanted out it wasn't going to work he knew that for sure. we respected her wishes and didn't spend anytime together while she was off for vacation but we did talk everyday on the phone. (phonesex gals can be pretty hot). well this past week she left to go down to where she works and she knew the day she was leaving he was also coming to spend the night with me. now that this is a reality and we are planning a future together what i'm wondering is has anyone else been here any advice on how to deal with the wife i haven't had any contact with her as of yet but i know that it's gonna occur at some point. and needless to say i'm alot nervous.
thanks
heather
thanks
heather
Signatures On
| Fri, 09-05-2003 - 1:53pm |
I know it seems weird but I feel like I should tell you congratulations. You're on your way to being together. That's a good thing. The thing many of us dream about...or at least have dreamed about at times during this. Yes, I think we all know that ex-wives are a part of the picture if we ever do finally get together with our MM. So she knows about you? Is it just that you've left some things out or is she handling the fact that her husband has another woman on the side remarkably well? This is stunning to me. Not many women would be so gracious as to just step aside, but I guess if you love someone, you want him to be happy. Because there are kids involved (unless they're grown), I wonder if it won't really hurt him in the divorce that he's seeing you so much now. Custody, child support, etc. Even if you're being discreet, people have been known to hire someone to gather evidence to use in court... Of course, you may be in one of those situations where they just divide everything down the middle and work out an arrangement and move on. My MM has mentioned us being together once we're both "free" and I've told him, realistically, it's doubtful we would be able to...that we'd probably have to sneak around for a while and be discreet, then once the divorce was final and all was solved, slowly start emerging. Am I right in this? Anyway, I think your dealings with the W will be much easier if you do keep a low profile for a while (and forgive me if you fully plan on doing this...I'm just going on your post, which didn't provide this info.). If my H were having an affair and I were gracious enough to just step aside and let him be with the woman, I'd feel much better about her if she actually was making an effort to show me respect in the manner of not being seen with him all the time and not letting the children find out. I don't know...it's a sticky situation and I'm sure you're doing what's right. I have a bad feeling about what my MM's W would do if she ever found out. She's the type to go hunt someone down and kick the you-know-what out of them. Or at least confront them loudly and in front of everyone they work with...
