Some Days......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Some Days......
23
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:35pm

i just want to be left alone -- no kids, no BF,

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

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Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:44pm
Well, i may be a little younger than you, but i feel like i have lived the lives of three people LOL. This last year has been.....wow. Living on my own for the first time, giving up my marriage and discovering my MM, losing my best girl friend, my "20s" are turning into quite the roller coaster ride. i don't know your whole story but i followed along the best i could, and want to offer (hugs). i'm a taurus, change is hard for us LOL. i am finally starting to see the light, i am finally getting it's okay (even great) to be alone, and to believe you are good enough to find a spouse when you are ready for that, that you are smart enough to decide who to trust. Hell at the end of the year,i want to laugh, or cry, as long as i am doing SOMETHING. i want to live, risk and all. i want to float my little boat far from the shore even if there are storms out there. Let the other whimpy boats sit in their safe little harbor and feel neither great pain OR great joy. i don't mean to ramble, i don't know much about your story, but HUGS, you are a smart person and you will make the right decisions for you when you are ready. If alone time helps you with that, then by all means, GO FOR IT!

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:52pm
thanks jenn, for all your kind words.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:58pm
Starting over is definitely hard thing to do, I have done that once in my life so far and it was soo hard. I know you will get there if and when you are ready for it - until then cherish your down times. HUGS
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 4:16pm
I know exactly how you feel. I think we all have those times when we want a fresh start and I guess maybe you can at least feel good about the fact you aren't remarried. Certainly that doesn't make it any easier to cope with the feelings involved. Obviously only you know what is right for you. But know that you're not alone. You have many people who care about you. And you're right that ultimately we are responsible for our own happiness. But that doesn't mean we can do things alone. Everyone needs support and encouragement. I know that you're a tremendous person and you'll always do things the right way. I just hope you do what is right for you. You've helped me and given me strength and I hope I can give you a small measure in return. And know that it is also okay for you to feel unsure and adrift. Part of being human is never really knowing that what we're doing is 100% right. All you can do is do what you believe in. And I, for one, will be here if you need any support. Good luck with everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 4:17pm
You are a great woman, Gurl, a wonderful, giving, kind woman, one of the best I've ever met. I've told you more than once that I wish you were my sister in real life. It's OK to have a moment of weakness, sweetheart. I'm sure it won't last long and you will soon become your usual strong self again. You'll figure it all out - I don't doubt it for a minute.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 4:28pm

wow, o, you're making me tear up over here.....

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 4:30pm
hey boston, in my real life i'm not close to my three brothers, so you can be my honorary bro, 'cause i "talk" to you more than all three of them together!!

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 5:45pm
Hey Gurl,

Hugs to you. You have always been here for me. You are a very strong, optimistic person. If anyone can make it and not get carried away when the dam bursts...it's you girl! I'm in the process of starting over also. Just got tired of everything going my H way for the first 20 years of our marriage. So, I'm making a change in almost every aspect of my life, well except my marriage. My A and reading and posting here has taught me that my marriage isn't quite as perfect as I thought, but I made a promise to my H and ultimately my kids too so I'm going to stick it out for the long haul. So, I'm hoping that making other changes in my life will make me a happier person, make me happier with my H, and hopefully not get into an A ever again. It sure was exciting though! Maybe that is why we are all here, because we need to make changes in our life. We use an A as the first step, it makes us think way too much about our lives, and then we realize maybe that isn't what we needed afterall, it's so much more. Heck, I don't know. Life is just way too confusing huh?! So whatever is going on in your life...you told me many times...take care of you! Forget everyone else for a while and just do what Gurl wants and needs! Take care of yourself, C
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 8:13pm
Gurl: I totally agree with the others, you have given such good and sound advice to everybody. Accept the fact that you are only human, and will have those moments when the walls feel like they are crashing in on you. Lets face it, we are a select group of people who cannot turn to just anybody for help with our problems. Having that one common bond between us and being able to share and seek the comfort and advice we so need sometimes (without the harsh judgement of the 'moral majority') is so wonderful. This board (and folks like you) have helped me more than you could ever imagine, and I am so grateful. I give you credit for breaking free and taking control of your life, as I'm trying to muster the courage to do the same in my own. The best of luck to you, and don't ever forget we are all here for you, too. Take care, Virgogirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 9:05pm
HEY Gurl

You get to be human to just like the rest of us, I am thinking of clearing the decks myself and can understand (being an old crone helps to) were your at, you can get pretty tired of carrying people after a decade or so of doing it.Chuck you the trash that needs to go but hang on to the good stuff.

It's like furniture you don't have room for a nice peace tell you get rid of that ratty old sofa, I think maybe your due for a nice male peace.

Free

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