Something Crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Something Crazy
3
Sat, 09-13-2008 - 7:34pm
Ok something crazy happened today. Before I got married I lived with a girl who dated a guy from NY. We were all friends. Their relationship ended bad. He and I have reminded in contact with each other off and on through out the years just by email. An occasional chat..with just a friendly hello hi whats going on in your life type of thing. Last week we had one of those chats like normal every 3 or 4 months or so if not longer. Thought nothing of it. Then he gives me his number says sent me a text sometime. Ok so I did. Just a friendly text of hi. Today we have texted all day just about and I found out that he actually has had feelings for me this whole time and has never told me until now. I am not sure what to make of all this. But I do know that I never had any idea and never ever even thought about a potential A with him. NEVER! The reason why he said he never told me what because it was different times different people and didn't think I would have handled it well at that time. Which is true. I would have flipped if he had told me this 8 years ago. Now however things are different. So do I treat this as way to move on and see what happens. Or what??? He wants to us to continue talking and see what happens. He even mentioned about us spending a weekend together sometime. I just don't now what to think about this. Its all so crazy!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Sun, 09-14-2008 - 2:52am
I'm a little confused here. Are you saying that because he has said he has liked you all along, now you're contemplating having an affair with him? Are you unhappy in your marriage? Do you feel even remotely the same way (you don't sound like you do, to be honest)? All I can really tell you is this.....affairs are very damaging in many ways. Yes, there are good things that can come of it, I don't deny it. That doesn't mean they're good in general. If you are happy in your marriage, I would stay the heck away from this. You could really destroy your marriage. Stay friends, nothing more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Sun, 09-14-2008 - 9:30am
Yes I agree with you an A is not good. I have had and in the process of ending one. The reason I never thought about this person is because I never thought he was interested. At the time we first met he was dating my roommate. Not going to make a move on my roommates bf. And of course I had a bf at the time to. So just totally dismissed it from my mind. During that time we had many phone conversations he would call looking for her many times and we would just end up chatting on the phone. That has not happened in years now of course. What I don't understand is how this could happen. I had so much thrown at me yesterday so fast that I didn't really know what to think about it all. He told me that he had tried to inquire about me many times but never got the answers he want always got cut off by the roommate. Like I said I would not have handled it very at the time either. So where to go from here. Yes remind friends for sure but do I take it the next step like he is wanting to. Would that be stupid of me to do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Sun, 09-14-2008 - 10:08am

You are in for becoming someone who has series of A's, one after another.Old mate comes along and talks about old feelings and you are ready for another A.If between this, some other old mate comes and discloses his feelings, you will for sure go for it.

Come on, be sensible.If you had one A, you should better know how they are .If you are looking only for sex, then also be careful of the no. of partners you sleep with.

Mend things with H before jumping from one A to another.

Good luck.