Something Interesting I've Noticed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Something Interesting I've Noticed...
13
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 11:58pm
Can we get all the people who are having affairs with people they're working with to please stand up? Seriously, it seems really, REALLY common now that I've been here a while longer, and I would guess that maybe 80% of the people involved in affairs are doing so with a co-worker, or someone they work closely with. Anyone like to share their stories? I'm still learning...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 12:34am
Well, I used to work with my OM, actually I worked thier first, then my H started working their, that was before I had an A, and then I met my OM, and you all know the rest..lol, after while once we started having fellings for each other, It was hard to hide it, I mean we worked in this huge coorporation and I was the center of attention ( I mean the person damn near every one at the job had to come see one way or the other) so people started noticing and word got out, my H found out and things blew up, I found out that my OM was also dating someone whom we all new that also worked their. I ended up leaving but they all still work their right now as I speak. I think its a very risky thing to do, nut it happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 1:36am
Yep, I work with MM. I'm quite a bit lower on the todem pole than he, but we still see each other atleast 4X a week. Occasionally we'll find ourselves in the same meetings, see each other at functions, and have worked on projects together. I met him when I first started working there, and it's funny to look back and think about the thoughts I had then! Ha! We didn't get together until my 2 year mark with the company. I wish we worked closer and I could if I wanted, but I'm sure it's not be such a good idea cuz I know we'd get in trouble. :)

I just love it when we hop on the same elevator...it's funny to smirk and know that we share a lil' secret ;).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:37am
Yes, I also worked with xMM.

Well, it's obvious that, especially if working a full-time job, that we actually spend most of our time with the people we work with. Forty hours a week, or more. Can most of us say that we spend 40 waking hours per week with our spouses. I know that I cannot!

In many of the articles I have read since being in this situation, they all say the same thing. And you are right, except I think the percent is quite a bit higher than 80%, more like 95%.

Red

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anonymous user
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:54am
It's funny... I work with mm but rarely if ever see him in the work environment. If it hadn't been for those two days we had to spend together in the begining we'd still just be admiring each other from afar. :)

But if you think about it, working is the easiest way to meet other people, friends included. So it makes sense that most A would start with someone you work with.

deedee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 10:08am
I also work w/MM. He has been my boss and we have been working together for 9 years. We see each other monday - friday unless one of us is off. He will be gone this friday and monday boo hoo.. We do not work directly with each other... actually our private offices are at opposite ends of the office and he comes in a few hours later than me and leaves later than everyone else and that is when we are alone together. He is very well known in my town so it is very hard for us to bee seen outside of the office so after everyone leaves for the day that is our alone time together. Sometimes we get together 1 night a week sometimes it is 2 times and then we have gone months without being together. we also go to lunch at least once a week depending on our schedules. We both are M with children so it is difficult to get together as often as we would like. We have a very intense and emotional relationship and have always done oral up until about 3 weeks ago when we did ic for the first time and now it has gotten even more intense. I don't know what the heck I am doing anymore. I love him so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 1:03pm
Yeah... I started at my job about a year ago, but I wasn't working with my MM, I was working with the receptionist-type person at the end of the hall from his office. That woman was the worst, I swear, she HATED me soooo much, but the first few days she pretended like she liked me 'cause she needed me to stay so someone could cover for her while she went on vacation. ANYWAY, one of the first days, he came down to say good morning and she introduced us and I was like, "Whoa, boy," lol. He wears a gold band on both of his ring fingers--one is his wedding band and one is his grandfather's, he got it when he died--but I was like, "He's married... well, there goes that." Along with the fact that he was ten years older than me.

But eventually I would start going down the hall to his office and working with him 'cause I would run out of things to do with my original boss, and then finally in June I was in Florida on vacation and he emailed me about something and I emailed back 'cause it was pouring out and there was nothing to do and before I knew it, we were talking about meeting somewhere and spending some time together. He asked what I would do if he kissed me, and I swear I sat and stared at the screen for a good few minutes before shaking my head and thinking, "You have got to be imagining this." But then we continued to email for the whole week, and then the very day we LEFT Florida, he WENT to Florida for ANOTHER week (I was SO frustrated, lol) and it wasn't until the first of July that we actually got together... and the rest is history.

Eventually, like in August or September, he revealed that I was working for him and only him. I wouldn't have to work with the receptionist anymore, and now we've been working together for like three quarters of a year, and still haven't gotten sick of each other, or of sneaking away to the little shack with the machinery that we have to check sometimes, or to the closet next to his office, or even of kissing briefly IN his office--but only when no one is anywhere around, lol.

So that's MY story. I know no one really knows anything about me, 'cause I'm pretty new, but that's about it, and that's my fascination with workplace affairs. The danger is pretty intriguing, but I always think "Ok, what would happen if someone caught us?" Yeah, that's enough to keep us careful. There's always business trips or meetings OUTSIDE of work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:31pm
I meant OM at work - we've actually been friends for 4 years - then one night I had this crazy dream about kissing him in the hall at work and people were walking around us like it was no big deal - I remember thinking (in my dream) that it was the best kiss EVER and so I decided to tell him about it. I sent him an email telling him how crazy it was and his reply was "is this something you want to pursue?" - I said "I don't know, what about you" and he said "I've just been waiting for you to make the first move" - dang - now it's been 4 months - we've had a rough patch this past month but things are good now.

We barely see each other AT work - we talk on the phone or go to lunch together - I get to see him twice a day when he walks by for break time and he just smiles and winks at me and it's so sweet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 4:42pm
As I said in another posting today, my MM is also my boss. I had always been "interested" in him, but kept my distance. We started with innocent emails that got more and more flirty. Finally one night I kissed him. He has become my best friend and lover. Working on an ambulance we see some pretty morbid and gross things. We support each other in ways our spouses can't. My husband hates that I'm a medic and I almost quit. My MM made me see how much I love it and that I'm good at it. I am friends with MM wife and know that she doesn't love him and hates IC. MM and I both comment that we fit perfectly in each others lives and fill the holes.

We've had our bumpy times....it's hard being around him and not being able to show my affection. He's very good at keeping a "poker" face and it's hurt my feelings a few times. He keeps a candy jar on his desk that I keep full of Hershey kisses to remind him I'm thinking of him. He'll grab two and throw one my way...to let me know he's thinking of me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 5:04pm
I just posted on the other work thread. I am a teacher in the same district as OM, but not in the same building. We met at a happy hour for all the teachers in the district. So although I do not work directly with him on a day-to-day basis, we met at a work-related function.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:57pm
I met MM at work. He started about a year after me. We have different positions but sat close by to each other and barely talked for the first year he worked there. We have a mutual friend and as a big group all started eating lunch together. MM and I became fast friends, all before either of us were married. He came to my wedding, we became closer friends, he found out his g/f at the time was pregnant and proposed, we became better friends, then one day, we were emailing and he asked me what I thought he thought of me and I didn't think he thought anything of me. He said that wasn't true and then asked what I thought of him and it went on from there. A month later he got married, me and H attended his wedding. Things cooled down and then he wanted to start things up again. I told him he had a fresh start and was he sure he wanted to do that as he had a lot of guilt in the beginning. He said he was sure. It's been almost six months. His W is due any day now. It's so hard for me because our A is like a yo-yo for me b/c my heart is so involved and I see him at work everyday. We eat lunch together everyday. Everyone knows we are very close friends and can find each other at each other's cubicles all the time. I had to help throw the baby shower and no one suspects a thing. Everyone thinks we are happy in our M's with our H and W's and are enjoying the newlywed lifestyle. What a joke! He know's I'm not happy in my M and I know he's not happy in his, but unlike me, he doesn't want a future with me either, so that's great.

Anyways, I am not surprised to find that most people meet the OM/OW at work, it's either that or on chat. Where else can we meet people nowadays and have the opportunity to have repetitive interaction?

IBC

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