Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one..
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Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one..
| Mon, 02-16-2004 - 5:04pm |
I've been seeing my MM since October of last year and we IM during work, talk on the phone at least once a day, and try to see each other whenever we are able. He is enduring a separation but I am still married. My H is verbally abusive, not romantic, doesn't care about his appearance, is totally into himself and is just not the man that I married nearly eight years ago. There are so many more issues with my marriage I'm not even getting in to. My MM is everything my H isn't....but, then again, if he was I wouldn't be with him. He is sexy, romantic, funny, intelligent, just all around wonderful. Does anyone else ever feel like they are cheating on their MM whenever they have sex or spend time with their H? It's so strange, but I feel like that all the time. I've told my MM this and he thinks it is probably a very normal feeling. I'm so glad I stumbled across this message board. I'd love to correspond with any of you for support! Thanks...any feedback would be appreciative.

I can assure you that you are not alone in your feelings. I don't get to post often, with work, family, etc....but I do 'lurk' and read posts when I can.
I have been in my A for 3 1/2 years, and still have guilty feelings over my MM. Once MM and I became intimate, I became distant towards my H (we were having problems before, he was taking medications which slowed his libido to a snails pace....so once MM and I started seeing each other, I quit trying to initiate anything with H) I think in the last 3 years, we have had sex maybe 5 times...and each time, I cringed and cried...I know it sounds crazy. I also get very upset at thinking that MM spends time with his W, or that they are being intimate. Granted, it is now causing more problems in my M due to changes in my H and him wondering why I won't have anything to do with him. He says he worries and wonders, and I can't blame him. Yet, I play off that I am stressed, tired, my medicine causes the decrease, etc....but that has only worked for a while. He does question and it has caused huge fights and problems.
I sometimes feel I am too far gone, and I am just waiting on the end....because, I just cant bear to be with H and know it is only going to get worse. If I could give you any advice, it would be to try (as hard as it may be) to get over the guilty feelings, as they will only worsen as time goes by, and learn to enjoy both your M and MM. Sometimes, I wished I could be more like a man in the sense of how they can compartmentalize everything. MM tells me he can do that, I can't.
Good luck....I hope this helped some!
:)
Why are you with a verbally abusive H? My H was like that before - he has oddly changed for the better - when I gave him the utimatum two years ago - almost when things started to heat up with the OM. He kind of senses things between me and OM and tries to make up what things that were done before. maybe? I dunno. But I can tell my M is a lot more different than before. Oh wait, after a couple of days I probably will be back to my normal self and think what I the h%ll am doing in this marriage. LOL