Sounding board for AP

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2008
Sounding board for AP
9
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 2:58pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 3:24pm

Hi there. I am also involved in an A so I am being totally nonjudgemental here but I think your AP can't talk to you about this because what's good for the goose is not good for the gander. He feels completely hypocritical and is hurt that his W may have an AP. I don't know what has been shared between the 2 of you emotionally, but he doesn't want to tell you his W is "hurting" him.


Just my $.02

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2008
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 3:30pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 3:40pm

I can only think (it's how I would be in this situation) that he is feeling hypocritical and now re-evaluating your R. Women are supposed to be good girls, esp. when we are wives.


Here's a story...sort-of:


My H recently started playing in a band. Something he has always wanted to do but due to "life" and becoming parents, it had to be put on the back-burner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 3:43pm

Hi Shoulda -


In my experience - it's a guy thing.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2008
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 4:03pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 4:16pm

You got it sweetie -and honestly - they say that men try to fix things - but really - I think we women just want them to talk everything out like we do - and most guys aren't built that way.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 2:26am

I'm sorry, maybe it's me, but how in the world can he be so hurt that she MIGHT be cheating when he IS cheating! I just find that to be hypocrisy at it's worst. Obviously they are having some major issues in their M, because BOTH of them have strayed. I just don't understand why he is using the broken heart routine when he is doing the exact same thing. I am sorry I don't feel sorry for him, he's not a BS. Just my .02 cents.

Justice




Edited 1/3/2009 5:55 am ET by justice2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 10:25am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 10:48am
Oops I'm sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying, my bad!