Spent weekend w/ MM & W...WEIRD!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Spent weekend w/ MM & W...WEIRD!!!
5
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 8:37am
I'm at work, can't type much...

Well she called me Sat. and said he was picking me up on his way home from work. (my car is crap, they live an hour away)

He and I got to talk, I tried to get him to open up about his feelings, and he only said they were strong, but he doesn't want to lead me on, so he wouldn't tell me more.

My weekend was sad...he was sad, he is not happy at all. He just holds his 3 month old baby and plays on the computer. She said "he is like this everyday".

Well, her and I got along fine, I wasn't too uncomfortable, she was more nervous to meet me. We went out for drinks.

I came home last night, and cried for about 3 hours. I want him to be happy, and he's not. That hurts. It hurt to see his "life" after we created a small world together.

I'll write more later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 9:38am
Im very confused...does his W know about your A? Is she trying to make you involved in someway? Your post is very unclear - I know you are in a hurry and short on time...write more when you can

*hugs*

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 11:16am
Your post is unclear but i think i get the general idea. i'm confused, but i usually am.

i know my MM's wife and she is basically "fine" with the situation, or at least she acts that it's fine, maybe it's all an act to not push him away. She thinks he is leaving her for me.. i know MM is "undecided" but for whatever reason he doesn't want to tell her. Anyway.. we have gone out together in the past, me MM & W, she knows all about what we do. i have been in there home when they are both there many times. She has helped MM watch my daughter when i am really in a babysitting bind. i can call MM's house (sometimes she just won't pick up if she doesn't want to talk to me but that's no biggie). So yes, sometimes situations just arise where we all know about each other. We have tried to keep my presence minimal since she found out he was leaving. But it still happens at times.

Now i also sympathize because my MM is unhappy at home. it's not utter despair, but he's unhappy. They don't communicate enough, there are so many issues, when i first met MM all he did was go on and on about just HOW unhappy he was and why. But now that he has the opportunity to go he cna't do it. If he is so flippin' happy, why does he spend so much time with me!?

it's all just a mess sometimes,

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 12:48pm
NO she doesn't know...if you remember previous posts, he told her I'd be her friend when she moved out here (before the A), and I thought if I didn't she'd get really suspicious.

She actually calls me now all the time and we shoot the breeze and she's unhappy too, she talks bad about him alot, but she's very posessive towards him. Basically, they have two babies, and never sleep and don't like each other much...

He and I have hid this well. We both said we didn't mean to sleep together, it just happened (about 30 times in 4 weeks) but we are cool. I do love him, so it kills me that he's unhappy, and I'm pretty sure he loves me, but doesn't want to give me false hopes, or anything, because he wants me to be happy.

I just depressed too, because I'm 25 today, and all alone, and want to be with him, to be held by him...

But I also learned something else, when we were together, he always fell alseep holding me, and she said yesterday (just because we got into talking about weird things guys do), that he won't let her touch him when they sleep and won't touch her, and never has...little bit of info I didn't need to hear, but couldn't really reply to it like that. I don't understand why they are together, except for the babies, which he is such a good dad, that I do admire him for that.

Ok I've rambled, gotta head back to work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 1:26pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY grrl!! at 25, you know you have your whole life in front of you and my birthday wish for you is to see how wonderful your life can be, with or without your MM. and his W. they have their life (with those 2 babies) and even if they are unhappy together, you can be happy within yourself!

do something fun and wonderful just for you! get a manicure/pedicure, new hairstyle, new shoes, whatever. go out with your girlfriends or just take yourself out to dinner. go to a decent restaurant and sit at the bar and have a few cosmos, eat and talk to the bartender.

you're too young to be wrapped up in sorrow and unhappiness. take control of yourself and get on with life. if you are meant to be with MM, it will work out for the two of you. but in the meantime, do something positive FOR YOU!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 1:30pm
Happy Birthday to you!!!Gurl is totally right, you are way too young to be sad and unhappy like you are! I do recall the details of your situation but I just wasnt certain what you had decided to do about being her friend or not - last I recall he wasnt sure he wanted you two to be friends or not...it's too bad he's in sucha tough spot right now...

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com