Spilling the Beans to Others
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| Fri, 04-09-2004 - 8:24pm |
Yes, the beans have officially been spilled about our relationship.
When the A began, we had a vow of silence. Deny, deny, deny to the bitter end. We had to put up a strong front because when we met, it was at a social gathering and many people saw the chemistry between us and saw that we stayed and talked the whole night together. Despite this vow of silence, MM never seemed too sneaky about us. He wanted me to work with him on this project, which placed us together for several hours per day after work for over a month. We've been in public several times together. I always felt that others "knew", though. MM was confronted within a couple weeks of starting our A by XXXX, and he denied it. One person told him that he SHOULD start an A with me!
Yesterday, he told me that XXXX knew, but he wouldn't tell. A couple months ago, MM told me that he could never tell XXXX about us because he liked to gossip.
MM just seems so sloppy in hiding the A. It's like he almost wants to be caught. In one way, it makes me kind of gloat because I feel like he thinks highly enough about our R where he doesn't mind what would happen if people found out. But ugh! I've never been crazy about drama! Luckily, my H runs in a totally different circle of friends, so the chances of him finding out are slim. I want to eventually leave H no matter what happens with MM, but I need to make a cleaner cut. I'm not ready financially right now, but I'm close. I can find plenty of other reasons to leave H than the A.
Anybody else in these same shoes???

and a job that allows him the time to talk on the phone and spend time with me-
One person knows about us - and has watched as MM has progressed in the R with me and
had said from the beginning...do not fall in love -- keep it a benificial relationship...on and on about not getting too emotionally involved -
Recently however this person asked my MM if he was in love with me -
MM didn't respond but the look on his face revealed the answer -
to which the person who knows said "I know - - - you can't help who you fall in love with"
To me that meant something enormous for someone this close to MM to just see the answer on his face and have NO WORDS said....
As far as getting caught - after 2 years I would like to think he's not wanting to or he would have been by now -
But I do know people change and want and need different things but I know he is not going to use me as his reasons for ending his M (if it did end) and likewise for myself - it's just understood what he and I have together -
I like that he has someone to talk to -
I am able to compartmentalize more so than him (he says I am the man in the relationship and he is the woman...)
Kikki
PS
if you want to know who this person is that knows about our R
it may shock you ...
it is MM's own FATHER