spiralling out of control

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
spiralling out of control
18
Wed, 03-11-2009 - 5:23pm

Hi all,


Where do I begin.


I have been involved in a EA with a single man for 15 months. He works on a project for my H and I.


He tells me he loves me all the time and we talk about everything. I am married for 18 yrs. Nothing wrong there, wonderful H. Something is wrong with me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 3:37pm

Yes he has. He has taken me for a ride but thanks to God I did not give him myself physically even though perhaps I have emotionally.


Today, he apologizes if he caused me any embarassment and went on to more or less say that we can only be friends.


I feel really awful that I had even admitted that I loved him. Can you imagine how I would feel if he had gotten what he wanted?


So he has a sudden change of heart, guilt I suppose, for now. We'll see.


I have to work with him and that's the hard part because he can sabotage me if he wishes.


He just wants to be best friends now. I don't think I should do that anymore. What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 4:26pm
I can't speak for sure in your situation, but I can tell you that my xAP also wanted to remain "best friends".
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 5:21pm
sure...try emailing me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 6:05pm

Hi,


I am trying. I don't seem to be able to get through with the email. I don't know if I am doing something wrong.


Anyway, he has a change of heart. Just wants us to be friends. Too many people will be hurt he says.


However, he did say we could have s*x, it might not work out but we must always remain friends.


Shocking, right!!!


I guess that's the story for most people, He just wants something on the side. Its not the romance story I made it out to be. Destiny, I thought, soul mates, it was meant to be.


Do you think I am crazy. He has a girl he's only known for 5 months pregnant. I think 2 months pregnant. Claims they did it twice without protection, yet I am still tempted by this man. Something must be wrong with me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 7:51pm

It doesn't mean you're crazy... just keep telling yourself all of the bad things about him:

- he just wants sex
- he's got another girl pregnant
- he apparently doesn't protect himself from STDs
- etc.

Tell yourself those things all the time, it'll help you get over him! In the meantime, remind yourself why you married your husband, and don't confide anything in this OM.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Sat, 03-14-2009 - 9:24am

Really girl, take control ! If you were not on the board and reading the posts and got involved with this guy it would be a different story but now you have read and know what this guy is upto.you realize he is playing a game then why do you want to be played?? getting played innocently is not the same as knowing it and even then not doing something about it.

This guy sounds like he will play you no mater what you do or dont do.

take care (( hugs ))

you really need to find a way to get rid him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Sat, 03-14-2009 - 1:09pm

What do you think I should do?


Should I talk to him ot just ignore him?


He always talks his way back. Its as if he is also addicted to me. But I need it to stop. I can't tell you haw ashamed and degraded I feel to have even told him I love him.


I have been crying so much.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Sat, 03-14-2009 - 3:58pm
You just might have to tell your H that

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