started an affair....confused
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started an affair....confused
| Sun, 03-08-2009 - 8:32pm |
Hello, I will try to keep this short, but the basics are married for 32 years.
| Sun, 03-08-2009 - 8:32pm |
Hello, I will try to keep this short, but the basics are married for 32 years.
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Hi
I'm new to the board too and have just been reading for weeks.
I don't think it's a good idea to leave an M for anyone but yourself. The treatments you've been getting from your H are not acceptable and you should have addressed them and settled it long before you had an A. Remember we teach people how to treat us. Therefore you can't use the way he is treating you as justification for having an A now.
If you are at the end of your ropes in this M and really wants to get out, do it for you. Don't be a damsel in distress and put pressure on the AP to come rescue you. Get a D, plan a life that you can be happy with by yourself and kids (if you have them) and don't worry about having another man in your life again. Only then will you really realized what kind of a life yours should be. There's no guarantee in life and we shouldn't be stuck in an unhappy M's. We all have choices. Your AP seems happy the way things are with having you as a part time lover. You don't really know him, so therefore, can't count on him being there for you when the time comes. That's why it's important you consider only yourself (and kids) in this matter and don't let fear rule your life.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
Please think long and hard about leaving a 32-year-old marriage for a man you've only known a fracture of that time and who is unable to emot unless he has been drinking.
Thanks for answering.
I remember talking to girlfriends in the past about if we were divorced or widowed would we remarry and all said "H*** NO!".
You are right.
Fear of what?
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
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