starting to feel better emotionally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
starting to feel better emotionally.
3
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 12:39pm

everyday i push myself get up and do something for me. i've been spending a lot of time working out, pushing my cardio for longer periods, and pushing my weight machines to new limits. before when i would go, maybe it was twice a week, now it's 4 to 5 times, and achieving goals as opposed to going through he motions. doing this is helping to channel my emotions so i don't fall into depression. plus the results are visible. now this afternoon i'm getting my nails done, a fill, and my eye brows waxed.

i've come to this thought process if my ap and i never get in touch with each other again(i write this with sadness but exceptance), i have no regrets of the last 3 years. he has shown me things i never thought i could achieve, independance i never thought i could gain. for that i will be eternally grateful.

my breakdown was due to how abrupt this whole thing happened without any indication at all that he was feeling this way.

to close this post i will say, to my dear ap, i do love you with all my heart.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 3:25pm
that's better !!!!
@ first i read your previous post, i tried to comment, but after i read this post, i dared not .
there's an old saying " if you love the person, set free"
well i do not refer to anybody else, maybe it is better to apply it to yourself " if you love yourself, set yourself free"
Be beautiful as what you're doing, may i add, go to spa, have a wonderful massage, shop for bags, (LV or balenciaga)look for new dress or shoes, you'll never knew how wonderful you will feel and look
Everybody will notice if you got an inner happiness
ciao
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 4:41pm
II I know everyday is going to a challenge. At night is the hardest. I miss him immensly and just stay busy. As far as YIM, he never deleted me. It does hurt when I do see him on line like this morning. So this morning I logged off and went to the gym. A lot of times I sign in as invisible. Today I took a new fb profile pic. Its nice and I look happy. If he ever does lurk he can see I'm happy. He swears he doesn't. So who knows. I do know he has a lot of baggage he needs to clear up in his life. I hope he does and can live a happy life. This is what I'm trying for me. To smile and have confidence and happiness.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 5:07am
Sounds like you are doing all of the healthy things you can to deal with the pain.