Starting to figure some things out

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2000
Starting to figure some things out
4
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 10:23pm

In my previous post I was talking about feeling MM is bored with me after many years together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 8:19pm

I'm glad talking about it gave you important realizations about your AP! Like you said, you have to decide if this person he's become is still someone you want in your life. Do you think he might have a bit of depression? Lack of interest in things that used to be interesting is a big indicator of depression. You might want to broach the subject with him.

Keep us updated!

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 1:51am
I read your other post, too, and I had two thoughts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2000
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 9:03am

I have asked that many times and he denies it... I have asked to be let go of this relationship if that is the case or even if boredom is the case.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 11:31am

Hi Penny!


I am going to be honest here, because I believe that is what you are looking for. AP's are never going to tell you they are done with you. Unless you go psycho on them, they will always try to keep the door open. Even if he is seeing someone else, or maybe bored or depressed. Whatever the reason he obviously wants some space. You can't rely on the fact that he isn't telling you he is done to stick around.


In this kind of situation it is best to trust your instincts. And right now they are telling you something is wrong. A's get us all foggy in the brain but our instincts remain and that is really the best thing to hold on to. Do not listen to his words, watch his actions and if you feel disrespected, put on the back burner, unimportant he is showing you where you stand in his mind right now.


If I were you, I would quietly slip away... because the more you push the more insane you become as he does not give you the answers you want or he does give you those answers yet nothing changes. If he says nothing is wrong then so be it, let him figure out that you aren't there anymore. Let him rack HIS brain a bit to figure out where you are coming from and when asked just say that you have been busy.


On a side note, though it is none of my business, if you love your husband enough to stay with him no matter what... I wish you could find your happiness and contentment there and leave this A drama alone. Being a SW my main frustration is having to be in the dating game and deal with mens dating habits. I always looked forward to getting married and finally being done with all this drama. Take a look at what you already have.... and try and invest in that.


Peace.