staying with husband
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staying with husband
| Tue, 12-23-2008 - 10:33pm |
Hello all. I'm new here. I've spent the past couple weeks reading all the posts. Seems like a lot of really intelligent people on this board. One thing strikes me though. I can't understand all the people who on here who say they have no intention of staying with their husbands even though they know that the relationship is nothing more than friendship, or sometimes even worse. This does not come from a place of judgement. I am in a similar situation, but in my case it's my confusion about the marriage. I feel that if I knew for sure that sex would never be good, or that we were nothing more than friends, then I'd be clear about leaving (though we do NOT have kids, which I'm sure makes a huge difference, nor are we financially dependent on one another). Anyway, this is a question for people who are confused about their own marriages, or have been at some point. I'm in an emotional and physical affair, though it's much more emotional than physical partially because OM lives in far away country and because we've both professed our love to one another (he's single and knows I'm married and thinks I'm in the wrong marriage) though I'm fairly certain - or let's say I won't be surprised - if one day I found out that this is all the passion and excitement of illicit love and has nothing to do with reality. I am trying to get out of this relationship with OM - though I guess I'm not trying hard enough - but what I'm really struggling with is my own marriage. The night I met OM, through work, he told me I didn't seem "100 percent happy" in my marriage. It really hit me, because I'd had a few doubts about my marriage but chalked them up to being the kind of person who doubts everything and anything. H is a wonderful, wonderful person who everyone loves. And I love him too. And I would do anything

That's why there are such people as MC (marriage counselors) or Therapists. That's where people should go to sort out what's going on in their M's. There are also IC (individual counselors) if the problem is you. Look, marriages stales after a while and if you keep chasing for that new toy excitement, you'll be bound to keep repeating history no matter who you end up with.
Seems to me like you have a good man in your H and lots of women out there would be lucky to have him. Be careful in thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes we don't know what we have until it's gone.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
no you are not hopeless..i'm a true believer that your emotions are your emotions...that's all..you cannot turn those off....you allowed yourself to feel something...
in my case, ap likes being with me because he gets a lot of attention from me, he's allowed to open up emotionally and feel something and i stroke his ego...i'm certain he feels good about being around a young woman who men break their necks to look at when we're out together...and he knows i love the hell out of him and i'm deeply in love with him...
i like being with ap because he makes me feel like a princess and he adores me...he also has opened his world up to my son..and he's become like a hmmm big brother/godfather/surrogate dad...it's a lovely relationship..
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss