STAYING in it as friends?? Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
STAYING in it as friends?? Help
2
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 5:26pm
I am single and in love with MM. He says he feels the same but because of kids--1 year old is his and a 10 year old stepson he raised from birth--he will not leave. He wants to be with me but doesn't want his boys in a broken home. His own parents stayed married until him and his sister graduated and moved out so that's what he was taught you do. We have not crossed into a sexual affair and even though many doubt we can abstain I KNOW we will as long as he is married. I believe you can be in love without having sex...to me sex is something you DO with the person you're in love with..not vice versa.

My decision is to spend what time I can with him---without putting other things on hold. I go out and leave myself open to meet other men and if someone special comes along I won't hesitate to move forward if there's an opportunity. But I also leave a special place in my heart where I keep some hope. Hope that one day he will realize he shouldn't stay for the sake of children and IF he really does love me he will see that I have no problem moving on with my life if he doesn't want his with ME in it full time.

I know many don't think you can be friends after an affair has been entered--and I know there is dishonesty in spending so much time together-----but LOVE is also important. LOVE is so hard to come by in this world I think when you find it you have to hold onto it in the most moral method possible.

Has anyone ever gone into a friendship scenario and been able to keep it that way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 6:03pm
I think you can do it if your MM is OK with you going out with other men. If he jealous type and keeps telling you then he is going to leave his wife every time you go on a date it might not work out. Plus you both must keep in mind that you might find another man that you genuinely like and eventually fall in love with and forget the MM altogether. If your MM is OK with that then it should work out to be as friends. I guess if its true love then there is more happiness to give than to receive. If you can talk it out I am sure you can STAY as friends at the same time not put your individual lives on hold for each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 6:52pm

Hi LLL,


I think a friendship can certainly

Sweet
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