still upset crying me 'mm l sure hates

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
still upset crying me 'mm l sure hates
7
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 7:07pm
still so upset over what happen between me and special man what ever call him.when he was here past jan when ask him if he want me to take care of him and he said yes why would said yes to me if he didn't mean that.darn girls l think important thing he want me to take c are of him and said yes he could said no l don't think good thing at allso stupied me through be so sweet send loving things to him wrong he got upset with me l just don't get it only think is he feeling very guilty ove r feelings for me.l do understand what goingt hrough very much.but should never said yes about me taking care of him my god girls big thing he ask me to do now acting liek nothing has happen between us.if he just though about just good friend then do hold and touch good friend body no way but that what happen between us and kiss me to on mouth.just don't want him hate me l know for 25 years he been in my life. kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 11:36pm
Kimmy, he does NOT hate you. I know you are hurting and don't understand why. I think he is trying to tell you that you maybe read more into the relationship than was there. I have read your posts for some time...if I remember correctly, he asked you to take care of him after something got spilled on him. Not take care of him for life. You have had a major crush on him for a long time and I hope for your sake you now realize that he does not return these feelings. That does not mean he hates you...but he has to let you know how he feels. I have had male relatives and friends kiss me on the mouth also...especially after not seeing them for a long time. Don't think he feels guilty for some feelings for you that he does not have, that will only continue to hurt you. If you have known him this long and he has been a family friend for so many years sweetie, he does not hate you, he just doesn't feel the same way you do. Please don't waste any more time on this. There is someone out there for you, that will appreciate you for who you are, but you won't find them if you are longing for someone who is unavailable to you.

Blessings to you. LivinLovin
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 7:26am
OH DEAR Kimmy,

How you must be hurting? Big hugs to you and courage. I agree with livinlovin; I do not think he hates you, but maybe also wanting to protect you. He certainly feels you deserve to find a really nice man just for you. Maybe you did misunderstand this kiss, and this is really too bad, because it has affected you so MANY years, building your love on his kiss he didn't obviously feel the same about. My thoughts go out to you, and I will keep you in my thoughts..

I agree, there is someone out there that will love you, and cherish you for who you are. Keep looking, have faith, and BE STRONG, it is going to hurt for a long time. SO SORRY!!! And do not fall again for someone that will cause you pain, you deserve so much better..

And again, be strong against all that harm you!!!!!!

Hugs, very big ones.. Mitzy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 1:34pm
hi mitzy thanks so much l know he doesn't hate me but if never love me that way just wish told me years ago.one time him and W other close friedns were staying with us l was in are kitchen so was he and he took me in his arms and he was loving me he had his hands all over me so what suppose to think when he does that to me.he has made think he love me in that way all these years just feel like stuiped fool rigth now.he going to be all alone now since W in home now his W very sweet british lady like him.l do want to fine someone around age and background but so scare of getting hurt again. since my x-sg abuse me and hit me feel like someone wrong about me but l know not true.but things is if really neve rhad those feelings for me why has he let me feel like all these years.he know l been in love with . when he was past jan l told him l had new guy in my life should seen his face he was upset about him. he never said it but l knwo him so well.he just have live with thatw ill meet nice guy and be with him.my ex-mm told me in e-mails when came back to me what share together was special to him and he thinks about often . which happy l met some thing to him.hugs kimmy
kimmy
Avatar for aimless02
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 1:39pm
(((Kimmy))) Why don't you take a break from all the guys and focus on yourself for now? Really think about what you want in a partner and don't settle for anything less than what you need. You're a wonderful woman and if you learn what would really make you happy, then you'll be better prepared to find exactly what you're looking for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 1:51pm
hi aimless sure do need break from men just seem all l get is hurt by them.l so trusting of my sg he knew how trusted him all that time we were together he was abusring me and hit me.like said post l'm leaving this sat to go to virgin lslands.their part of me misses my sg missthat guy l new so sweet kind to me. really believe this my sg change when got that tramp for G/F . he will never be treated taht well by lady again.l need to started believeing in myself alot nice guys out their for me but so scrae of getting hurt again .hugs kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 5:59pm
Kimmy, You keep saying over and over again that when you asked your special MM if he wanted you to take care of him, and he said YES. Well, hon, he probably knew then his wife was ill and knew SHe would not be able to take care of HIM. If you want to know what it's like to take care of old men go get a job as a CNA at a Nursing Home. You will see just how challenging, but rewarding in a lot of cases to take care of the elderly. What everyone else is telling you is true, you need to move on. You need to realize MOST older men when asked if you could take care of them , they'd say YES, it's in their NATURE! Hell, my MM even told me he has fantasies of a sweet young thing giving him a bed bath. Well, he's always been silly like that. Men can be such pigs. Believe me, I know first hand how some old geezers can act inappropriatly with females doing cares on them.

Seriously, you MAY get your wish someday, and think "What was I Thinking"!! His wife has Alzheimers, it is a slow long drawn out death she has ahead of her, it is a sad thing to see a loved one slowly but surely deteriate. Please Kimmy, just try to put him behind you! We all care about you, but enough is enough! Please don't take this like an attack, it's not!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 7:59pm
This all goes back to what I said last night and again this afternoon. Time to move on Kim, its plain and simple. Just listen to yourself and read your own posts for a change, maybe then the light bulb will go on..............this is from last nights post and this afternoon, none of which you have answered.

****Time to get over this complete fantisy and move on. You are driving yourself crazy not to mention everyone here at ivillage. If this old man did indeed say and do these things to you at the age of 16 he should have been arrested if you ask me. He sounds like a dirty old man, who has probley forgotten what he had for dinner last night let alone something that happenes 25 plus years ago. Is it just me? But does anyone else feel this way? She need to realize what she is doing to herself.****

****Kim what I said was not to make you angry but to maybe help you open your eyes so you could move on. I never said your "old" MM did not care/love you in his own way. But he no longer does. You need to face this. If you asked your mother about this (of coarse changing his name for protection, since he is a "dear" friend of theirs)I am sure she would agree. Time to leave this and move on. Now your SG, well that is crazy and you should have reported that jerk to the police. Ignore him and stay away. I think maybe you should have someone professional to speak to about him. He is wrong and should be punished. Sorry about the cancer too, but we all have some sort of problems in life that we must deal with. You survived and that is wonderful, time to learn and grow from your experiences. Maybe someone could benifit from your experiences. But my intensions were not ment to be mean, just honest. Like I said we all have gone through things in our lives. So learn and move on and some seem to stay and linger, but that is your choice.****

When you travel and enjoy your family tomorrow do yourself a favor...do not bring this with you. Let it go! Move on! I must agree with what someone else posted, I think his words about "taking care of him" could mean one of 2 things........Either he was/is looking for a nurse maid, or he wants her to "TAKE CARE" of him and I aint talking about washing his dishes.





Shy