Still waiting for a response!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Still waiting for a response!
7
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 9:32am

But at least I'm here and not being psycho and emailing him again. It's frustrating because I have some free time tomorrow away from H and kids and I'd love to get together with SG. I have to assume he's out of town because otherwise he'd have at least responded with something by now. It's been 2 days. But I'm staying strong. I'm NOT emailing. What's worse is I have his cell number...but I am DEFINATELY not using that until he gives me the go ahead. I guess what bothers me is I really didn't say "everything" I wanted to in that email I sent. Of coarse you always think of things you should have added after you hit send. Arrghh..I wish I could just fast forward a few weeks. At least I'd know where I stand! Thanks for listening.


Haunted

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 9:47am
Just wanted to let you know we're not ignoring you... I'll search my soul and see what thoughts I can come up with, OK?

In the meantime, that time you have away from H and kids, why don't you do something magnificent for yourself? Like take a bubble bath, treat yourself to a special meal, read that book you've been wanting to get to, play with your hair, have a nice workout... Heck, when's the last time you went to a movie by yourself? You could go see one that *you* want to see, without taking into account what H, kids, OM, or best friend my prefer! Be totally selfish!

While I'm thinking about what you've said, please respond with something that you've always wanted to do for yourself but never have the time to do. I'd like to know how y'all pamper yourselves...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 9:54am

LOL! I think you misunderstood. I'm not being ignored here. I'm still waiting for a response from SG! LOL! But as a matter of fact, the reason I have free time tomorrow is because I'm having my hair done tomorrow. Would be nice to see SG just after having that done ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 9:55am
hey geek chic -- you totally took the words out of my mouth girl!! HAUNTED, DO SOMETHING "MAGNIFICENT" FOR JUST YOU!! i'm totally jealous 'cause i wish i could take some time just for me!

haunted, you're doing really great regarding the NC. it's hard to be patient and keep it on the downlow, but you're doing it. i'm so proud of you. and doesn't it feel good when you follow through on something that is good for your self-esteem!

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK HONEY!! wait for him to get back to you and then you can throw out all the other stuff you forgot to put in that email. plus you'll have OM's attention and maybe you can get the answers you need.

take care,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 11:37am
Oh, wonderful! The thing I like best about time by myself is I have uninterrupted time to think about things, without having someone asking me what I'm thinking about and then having to make something up, and trying to divert some attention to someone while still cranking on whatever's on my mind.

I wonder if you have been thinking about your M, and whether you want to stay. If you're sick of the "happy family" routine, are you willing to go it alone? I shudder when I think about people leaving their unhappy M and go right into another relationship, as if it's going to fix whatever's broken in life. I have so much heartache from my younger life, watching my mother do that.

If you work outside the home, I was thinking that maybe you could write down all the things you thought of after you hit "send", and hide it somewhere at work so H won't find it. Then you could recap them to OM when he returns. If you work in the home, is there a library nearby? You can probably find lots of self-help books there, things to help you explore and encourage your individuality and bolster your inner strength to deal with *whatever* challenges life throws your way. The best part? It's free!

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that we cannot and should not depend on others to make us happy. I may share my happiness with SG, but it is not him that *makes* me happy.

Another rambling thought: No matter how hot we might be to our respective OM, that stuff doesn't last forever. My advice is that we all invest in ourselves, so that there is something interesting about us when the bloom is off the rose, so to speak. Me? I'm studying to be a scientist. I want to contribute to mankind's exploration and understanding of the universe... To scoff at the fundamental "speed limit" set by Einstein (sorry, bud, you're still my hero)!

And now for a little AC/DC:

"Breakin' the law

Breakin' the law!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 12:37pm

Thanks for the insight. When and If I ever leave my marriage...which I believe to ultimately be inevitable, I do it for me. Not to be with anyone else...My mom did the same thing with relationship after relationship. If I ever broke free from this M, I would not be stupid enough to get myself back into such a committed relationship for a long long time. I would love to just be a single adult. I fully intend on making my own happiness...which is why I'm persuing this A in the first place. I will not live with regret. I'm not depending on SG to make me happy, I plan on making myself happy by exploring these feelings ;) Yeah, yeah...sounds like I'm talking in circles. LOL.


A little about me: I'm about to turn 30. 2 kids under 5. Been married 10 years, but together even longer. H rescued me from an abusive boyfriend. Appreciation kept me here...alcoholism is driving me away. H is not abusive to me. Except to my self-esteem. Depression is occassionally a problem for me. Go figure! I work in the home, although I'm a certified professional, I gave up my out of the home career to stay home with my kids. I plan on going back when my youngest gets into elementary school. Ummm...that's all I can think of without giving too much away. ;) With my "regular" userid...I'm all over Ivillage but cannot use it here for fear of being discovered.


Haunted

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 2:31pm
Hey Haunted, You are so right it's scary! I think we have the same H and the same guy. We must me related. Everything you said is the same. Even the part about his picture on some site. I do the same things. I know I'm going crazy too!!! I swear life throughs you in a loop sometimes, all the time! LOL!!! Give it time. I am. I'm just trying to be patient and think things through clearly. If they can't be mature then it's up to us. I wish you all the luck. Keep in contact. If I come up with any answers I'll let you know. Medea
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 2:35pm
A couple days isnt so bad...hang in there chick!

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com