Stop the affair, trust me--part 2

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Stop the affair, trust me--part 2
3
Sun, 11-09-2003 - 7:59pm
Thanks to all for listening.

Well this weekend has been nuts. Had a Jerry Springer espisode with him and his wife on three way Friday night. Bad idea. We all said a lot of things, and he and I said mean things to each other. But he stuck to his ground that even though he said he loved me, he lied to me and that he never loved me. I told him it was unfair that I never had closer on things and I deserve that.

So my Aunt was coming over to console me today, and he calls me to talk when she's there (she's knows the story). He said he called so I can have closure. I told him to admit the truth that he loved me and he still says he lied to me when he told me that (he always told me he loved me-very sad). I told him we both know what we had together, and that he is the one that has to look at himself in the mirror for the rest of his life, not me. He asked what else I wanted to talk about, and I said, "there's so much to say, but my Aunt is here, she genuinely loves me, and I'm not gonna take time away from her because of you. You're not worth the time of day." He said "What do I say? Talk to you later, goodbye, what?" I said, "Well, you started this, and now your figure out how to finish this" and hung up the phone.

I wanted to cry and tell him I love him and why did you pick her over me? But I didn't. I was trying to be strong (even though I feel very weak right now). Now, I need time to heal all the hurt and dissapointment.

Good luck to all, and keep in touch! You guys have helped me through the healing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 11:14am
Teenbean...

WOW I just read part one...OMG im so sorry to hear what your going through. It seems your a strong person. Thank you for posting your story. I needed to hear that. MEN THEY JUST LIE..and we believe them. My MM wife found out about us a few months ago. I am still with him - I have talked to her several times. She has asked me to leave him alone - I have tried...but its easier said then done - I told her get him to stop calling me. Like you said the converstation you two have just flows like nothing ever happened. Its one of those feelings. I try to be mad at him but I cant - he says he is leaving at the end of November we shall see. I even told his wife that was his plan when she called - she acted like she had no idea. MM said she is going to tell you what she wants to believe - he said thats her hope thats her wish that I will change my mind. I MEAN ITS HARD TO BELIEVE HIM. After reading your post...WOW - I sure dont believe him.

I feel I will be in your shoes come the end of the month. I am working on getting strong - I know its coming. I have been with him since March so its about 8 months.

Its good to know you have ur therapist and you aunt their to help you.

I wish you the best. And keep me posted on how things work out...how you are overcoming this.

Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 12:14pm
I really wish you the best of luck.

Why men are content with a wife and a girlfirned on the side is beyond me. If he doesn'want you full time, and that's what you want, he's not worth it. If you only want a part time thing, then keep it going. I won't judge you because everyone has different issues and reasons. But if you love him and want to be with him full time, he won't do it now. Wait until he figures out what he wants to do and if he wants you full-time later on in life, and you're available, then great.

My ex-MM is lying to me and his wife, so I don't believe anything he says. He's in total denial. He's in denial of his feelings for me and won'e admit them anymore. He's in denial of his failing marriage and will do, or say, anything to make it work (he's had issues with life stability because his parents divorced when he was 10).

You deserve better! Just be very cautious at this point and be strong.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 12:26pm
THANK YOU - for your kind words and so true...teenbean

I have made up my mind by the end of the month if he does not leave and i have told him this someone has to go...at first I did not want him but now I do...and I cant keep going through this...like I told him I dont deserve this.

She knows about me and she told me to call her if MM and I were still seeing each other - im like look I dont need to call you - if you see me calling his cell that should be your answer.

He has told her in front of me well when she has called him and im there with him - that he does not love her - he is not in love with her - but he does not hate her either. he has told her that - i have told her that too.

I guess we just have to wait and see what happens...but thanks for the heads up - you just never know. Why cant men be honest about things - I think us women will take it alot better.