Stop the world, I want to get off

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Stop the world, I want to get off
5
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 9:01am
Okay, so I had a little too much wine with my spaghetti last night and I started getting philosophical. Basically, what it all came down to after a lot of introspection is this: how the h*ll did I get here?

I mean, I'm an attractive, educated career woman with a good future ahead of me and I can go to any bar tonight and not go home alone. So why was I sitting there, staring at a plate of spaghetti, waiting for him to sign onto ICQ and light up my world? And he did. He send me an MP3 file - it turned out to be Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher", a private joke between us since we found out yesterday that I'll be conducting a training class that he has to sit in on while he's here.

I just wish I could read him like a book. I want to open up the cover and see the real story inside. Not that I think he's hiding anything from me, but there is some deliberate shielding of his life. I guess that comes with the territory, but I'm falling so hard for him and from the way he talks about his confusion and torn feelings, I know he's feeling the same. I just want to crawl through the computer monitor sometimes and shake him and say "what are my chances, here?" and in the same moment, I don't want to go that far because things are so good as they are and I don't want to ruin that.

Is anyone else standing on the same madly spinning planet?

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 9:41am
Yeah, i wish it too - to read my MM like a book. I have given up on it for now. Take it on a day by day basis. Its easier that way...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 9:55am
smiling, i'm not on your spinning planet because i don't want to see any further inside my MM!! that's a scary place to be right now! and i can already read my MM like a book anyway.

can you talk to MM at all about how you are feeling? you don't need to be confrontational, you just need to let MM know how you are feeling. he will either step up to the plate for you or will want to keep the A status quo, but at least you'll know and you can decide where to go from there.

just my thoughts, honey. don't waste time wondering, just ask!

gurl

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 11:57am
I agree with gurl.

Just ask him.

Whatever the answer is you will deal. I have come out and asked what my chancese are, and I still "check in" on that question because it makes me feel better. He's got a pretty sweet deal here. Least he can do is tell me the truth, and he always does, and we always talk about it, and that's why it works.

If you decide to ask good luck. If not, still enjoy, and don't worry. You'll always have spaghettie, wine, and this board hehe.

Jenny

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 1:41pm
Isn't it crazy what these men can do to sensible women like us?? Shaking him up all you want esp if you want answers to your burning questions. Hey, did you know they are trying to find newer planets in far away places for spinners like us so that we can move there and live safely ever after.... LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 4:10pm
Secretlysmiling, I just had to respond to this. I'm going to start doing training and MM will eventually have to take my class. I first started to notice MM when I had to go to a training thing he was in charge of. He wasn't actually doing the training but he was helping her with all the details and he sat up in front of that room not paying a bit of attention to me. (Usually when I was in the room he'd always make eyes at me, even before this started...he's just a flirt.) I had never found him attractive before that moment and it hit me like a freight train! There's something about seeing someone up there in front of everyone getting all that respect and attention... I think maybe that might work FOR us in our training!