Suspicious spouses

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Suspicious spouses
18
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 11:33am

The week that my dh is going out of town is fast coming up. My AP and I had planned on spending lots of time together, including one night. After this we were going to stop the PA. My dh and AP and his dw are friends and usually spend a few weekends together during the summer. AP and I have been avoiding it and any contact between the spouses because we didnt' want her to know my dh was going away. We thought we had it hidden until he told me yesterday she was questioning him on it. She wanted to know why he's been hiding her from dh and I, why he hadn't told her dh was leaving, and that he better not plan on coming out here. I am waiting until Monday to hear the whole story. At the same time my dh doesn't seem to be too worried but has told me he will have eyes watching me,then of course says he is joking. It used to be nothing for AP and I to hang out before we got physical but DH caught me lying about the length of time I was with him and got suspicious. SInce then as far as dh knows we don't talk privately anymore.

I'm worried they are talking behind our backs and have a plan to catch us. I think my dh is not worried about leaving because he's going to have AP's dw watching us. She seems to have already foiled our plan for the overnight but we are still getting together during the day when she is at work.

What do you think the chances are of us being set up? I don't think either of us are too willing to give this up since we know it's the lst time we will have this chance.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 11:42pm

Yes, this is the last time. Neither of us want to be sneaking around, it's too stressful and not something either of us enjoy doing. We will still do things together, we have been friends for a long time, but nothing will be kept secret. This shouldn't be an issue as we have been doing it for years. We have both agreed to stop the physical.

Yes we love each other. We had talked about leaving for each other, even tried at the beginning. I would still like to be with him but he has decided to stay in his marriage.

I can't 100% say this is the end of the physical part of the A but it is what we agreed to. I don't want it to end, but he is my friend first and foremost so I am giving it everything I got. I'm leaving it in his hands. If we do keep going, it'll be because we are going to end up together. He said from the start the only way he could do it is if he's leaving. I know everyone is going to say yeah yeah and they've heard it before, but I have no reason to doubt him. He hates that he is cheating and it shows everytime we get physical.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 8:02am

so you will be staying with your H

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 8:38am
Wow, my_name_is_k, I thought this board was for support and advise, not to critcize someone on the choices they have made.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:19am
daisy, its best to just ignore posts like that. people that post here, that dont belong, are easy to spot and best ignored.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:33am
Thanks tangledmess, it just sort of hit me wrong I guess...could be the nasty cold I have making my head not able to function straight.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:39am
nah, even with a nasty cold making you feel bad, anyone can tell that post doesnt belong here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 6:28pm

ok , daisy.girl911 ,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 7:58pm
my_name_is_k, this is a support board for people in affairs (or people who have been), and only people in affairs are allowed to post here. If this is not you then please stop posting.

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