Taking the Affair to the Next Level

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Taking the Affair to the Next Level
1
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 12:43pm
Hey everyone. My little affair is becoming much bigger and more confusing. I don't know if anyone remembers my post from last week, but an older man I had been talking to as a friend kissed me and I had no idea what I was going to do. Since then, we have talked a lot and kissed a few more times. I know it's wrong, but it's like it's addictive! My husband and I do have problems and I have not felt this intimacy and closeness I feel with MM for such a long time. He is married as well and has a reputation in our city so we have to keep things on the low. At first I couldn't imagine ever wanting to have sex with anyone other than my husband, but now I want to with MM! When he first mentioned the possibility of sex, I told him I didn't think I could ever do that to my H. Now I've changed my mind, but he hasn't mentioned anything about it since then. It seems like a lot of people on this board have been in similar situations. Does anyone have a suggestion on how to let him know I'm feeling ready to take our relationship to that level now? Is there anything we should talk about beforehand? Is there anything we can do to make sure things don't get weird afterward? I really want to do this, but don't want to screw up the passionate relationship we have right now.

Kate
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 5:25pm
Hi Kate!

Your post reminded me so much of me about 5 months ago. It started out with a kiss in late November, and MM was the one who wasn't sure he wanted to proceed. So, we decided, due to the hectic holiday season, to wait until January to decide upon anything. Well, we still shared kisses and some passionate "petting," but we didn't proceed to the next level in December. January came, and we both still wanted to go ahead to the next level. If you are unsure or you think that he is unsure, you might just go ahead and ask him about it. In my short experience, it's always been best to just talk about anything and everything that is bothering you.

One of the things we discussed beforehand was how we live in a small community, and MM is sort of "high profile" in the community, so we discussed being VERY discrete about meeting and how we would communicate. Hope that helps.


Edited 4/19/2004 5:31 pm ET ET by birdiegirl2004